Week 15: Speed Bump
NOT a road block. I won't let it be.
I'll be honest: This hasnt been one of my best weeks since starting the program. To say that Im feeling frustrated and stuck would be an understatement. All along, as Ive gone through my exercise routine, Ive been very aware of a stiffness in my back which, Id hoped, would work its way out with time and increased flexibility. But it hasnt worked itself out and, if anything, its gotten worse.
A visit to my doctor has confirmed that Ive got some swelling in a few of the discs in my lower back, which isnt news to me since Ive dealt with the problem before. However, I cant help but feel a bit annoyed that just as Im working as hard as I ever have to get fit, this stupid ailment would rear its ugly head as a roadblock threatening to derail my progress.
Stretches and roll massages help, but the discomfort persists to the point where, this week, I find I cant make it into the gym to work through it. I know part of this is mental and emotional, and Im really surprised at and disappointed in myself for giving in to it. I just feel tired and defeated and, yes, I start to question whether all this effort will be futile in the end. The clinical name for my state of mind this week? A full-blown pity party, with me as the only invitee.
At weeks end, I have a long and honest conversation with myself. I absolutely know that what Im doing is NOT for naught. I know that Ive made progress. And Im clear that success is possible—Ive just got to make the investment of time and effort in myself.
But it cant just be lip service. Ive got to really step up things up and get my head back in the game. Ive got to make some real decisions that better balance the scale of demands on my time—both at work and at play. Im know that Ive got to dial back on spending inordinate amounts of time doing things that dont feed my creativity and my spirit. Those things manifest themselves as stress, which then takes up residence in my lower back.
In the end, I choose to refuse to give in to this minor setback and give up my personal goal of looking good and feeling great. My ‘A-Ha! moment of the week occurs when I truly realize that I get to choose—and I choose to win. Pity party over. Back on track, and back to work—on me, for me.