By Fatou Kine Dieye
September 04, 2001

So last week I patted myself on the back for staying away from the cookies. I can sort of do that this week, too (emphasis on “sort of”). They are just so good….

Nichole and I hit it hard again this week, running through the Feel Great Weight program in intervals. I was so excited to see that I can do the exercises. My push-ups still need work; weve been using the band to support my efforts since I cant seem to get down as deep when I do it on my own. Nichole has been a real champ through all of this, really pushing me when I dont think I can do another rep before I collapse.

But shes also stressed that she can only take me so far and that the rest is up to me. For some reason, I found that very scary, which totally shocked me. I like to think of myself as a take-charge kind of person whos completely independent, but I realize how much I depend on her when it comes to the workouts. I think this is why I havent really been so worried about the exercises, because Ive known that she would be there to boost me up and tell me what to do.

On the other hand, the food program has been really daunting from day one because the decisions are entirely up to me and no one is there to “supervise” my behavior. Needless to say, this was quite the wake-up call, and Im embarrassed that Ive been such a weakling.

But hey, who said this was going to be easy or fun? And I guess I finally internalized the fact that I need to make some changes to my attitude if I am going to be able to maintain this long term.