By Deanna Verbouwens
September 04, 2001

I had three parties to attend over the course of the weekend, and although I felt comfortable, knowledgeable and strong around the food, there is still a part of me that beats me up after I do indulge—plus one relative I wanted to back-hand. It could have been a recipe for disaster.

I really harped on my indulgences after one party, and couldnt even enjoy the next one (in the same day) because my mind was a tape recorder playing the same message over and over again: “You indulged, you just blew your week, you indulged, you just blew your week.” I didnt indulge at that second party but I didnt enjoy it as much as I could have, and that sucks. Food should not control me, and it made me sad that I couldnt get past some hummus, cheese, and crackers.

So the next day I woke up and said, “Thats it. You have another party today. Do what you do and if you indulge, leave it at the last bite and do not take it any further”. And I did, but I will tell you, it was hard—especially after a relative asked me how I was doing with the program. When I said, “Great!” this relative replied with a “You havent cheated yet?” and at that moment not only did I want to say something snarky back, but I also realized that I AM NOT cheating when I indulge. I am living my life for Deanna and my family, and a handful of chips or a slice of cake does not make me who I am. So I replied “No, I have not”, and kept it at that.

This same person also told me that Id lost too much in one month—the nerve!! Normally I would have opened up and explained my life, but it wasnt necessary because this journey is about me and no one else.

This weeks goals

  • Get more sleep. Do I need to even go here? I was able to get in at least three nights of good solid sleep!
  • Plan meals: I kicked butt this week, but Im keeping this on my radar until its a habit.

Next weeks challenges

    Going away on a five-day mini-vacation for a friends destination wedding. We are driving, but I am packing all my veggies and fruits. I will have most of my meals out, but at least I will have the support I need for my snacks. I will make informed and quality choices! I am actually looking forward to the challenge, as each week passes and I accomplish more, I feel stronger and more powerful.