“At the end of the day, my story is beautiful,” the beauty influencer said

By Hanna Flanagan
January 14, 2020
Advertisement

Nikkie de Jager, better known as beauty influencer NikkieTutorials, is speaking her truth.

The social media star — who has 12.4 million subscribers on YouTube and 12.9 million followers on Instagram — posted a video on Monday revealing that she is transgender.

“Today I am here to share something with you that I’ve always wanted to share with you one day, but under my own circumstances,” she began. “And it looks like that chance has been taken away from me. So today I am taking back my own power.”

“I want to start the year off with the truth, I want to start the year off by finally revealing a part of my life that has made me who I am. I want to talk about a part of myself that makes me, me. I can’t believe I’m saying this today to all of you for the entire world to see but damn it feels good to finally do it.

When I was younger, I was born in the wrong body which means that I am transgender. Now, so surreal saying this. Filming this video is scary but it feels so liberating and freeing,” de Jager said in the 17-minute clip, which garnered nearly half a million views and over 62,000 comments in about an hour.

“I am NikkieTutorials and I am Nikkie,” she continued. “I am me. We don’t need labels. If we are going to put a label on it, yes, I am transgender. But at the end of the day, I am me. And at the end of the day, you are you.”

Nikkie Tutorials

de Jager went on to share that her mom (the owner of a Dutch beauty brand) was “convinced” she was having a girl during her pregnancy with the YouTube star. She said the birth of a baby boy was a surprise to her mom and “definitely a surprise to me as soon as I had brains to think with.”

“Ever since I was born, I’ve always thought I was a girl,” de Jager continued, adding that she’s been interested in hobbies typically deemed feminine by society since childhood. “All of me was girly. My mom knew immediately that I either was going to be gay or a different type of story. And it turned out to be a different type of story.”

The social media star — who’s most viral video “The Power of Makeup” boasts a staggering 40 million views — then thanked her mom for being supportive and accepting, revealing that she was allowed to grow her hair out at age 6 and wear girl’s clothes a few years later.

She also received support from teachers, but was honest about feeling “trapped” and “angry” and was honest about the fact that some kids did not understand what she was going through.

de Jager was also upfront about the details of her transition: “Yes, I got fully-transitioned. By the time I was 14, I got my hormones because I’m a tall b**** and I kept on growing.

“By the time I was 19, I fully transitioned,” she said. “I transitioned while on YouTube.”

Next, de Jager touched on her relationship with fiance, Dylan (who proposed to the YouTube star during a trip to Italy over the summer) telling fans that she “wished she told him sooner” but that they are handling matters privately.

“I am honored to be by his side,” she said of Dylan.

de Jager said she didn’t publicly disclose her Transgender identity sooner because she “wanted my channel to be about my art.”

“At the end of the day, my story is beautiful,” she said. “I’m proud of my story. No more holding back. No more secrets.”

Near the end of the video, de Jager confirmed that she was being blackmailed by people who wanted to leak her secret to the press. She boldly raised her middle finger towards them, quipping “I hope you sit nice on it!”

She concluded by thanking a few people, including her millions of followers, her family and her fiancé.

To get our top stories delivered to your inbox, sign up for the Healthy Living newsletter

This article originally appeared on People.com