YouTuber Brittani Boren Leach's Infant Son Dies After He Was Found Unresponsive While Napping
Brittani Boren Leach said that Crew was found not breathing after he went down for a nap on Christmas Day
YouTube star Brittani Boren Leach is mourning the death of her three-month-old son Crew after he was found unresponsive while napping on Christmas Day.
Leach, 29, detailed the tragedy in several Instagram posts, beginning on Thursday. In the first post, she shared a photo of her hand holding baby Crew’s hand and wrote an emotional message in the caption about what had occurred.
“I don’t have any words right now, other than to desperately ask for your prayers,” she wrote. “Not the kind that you say ‘I’m praying for you’ and don’t, but the kind where you fall on your knees and beg God for a miracle. While at a relative’s house last night, Crew laid down for a nap and when I went to check on him, he was not breathing. We are living a nightmare, and I’m dying inside. Please pray for my baby. This can’t be real.”
Leach’s next post featured her in tears while sitting beside Crew in the hospital, revealing to her followers that he was “stable” and that “the ventilator is breathing for him.”
“They are working on stabilizing his body and tomorrow he will have an MRI to determine his brain function and that will determine the next step,” she said. “I can’t explain to you what this feels like. This kind of thing only happens to ‘other’ people. Not me. I just want to crawl in bed with my baby and nurse him. Instead I’m standing here with a breast-pump in my bra where my baby should be… begging God for a miracle. Please continue to pray. Please. I don’t think I can go on without him. #prayforcrew.”
On Friday, Leach announced the tragic news that Crew had died. She shared a photo of her cradling her baby boy’s body with her husband Jeff beside her.
“Crew’s tiny earthly body is still with us, although I know he’s already dancing and playing in Heaven,” Leach wrote. “We have some hard decisions to make over the next 12 hours, that no parent should ever have to make. We need prayer now, more than before, specifically prayers for peace and clarity on the decisions that have to be made, and for our hearts, the pain is unbearable.”
“I keep thinking that I will wake up from this nightmare, but I don’t,” she added. “The outpouring of love and support has been astounding and we cannot even comprehend the amount of love we have been shown.”
Joanna Gaines commented on the heartfelt post, writing, “I remember meeting your beautiful baby Crew in October-praying for ya’ll right now” with a heart emoji.
In two more posts, Leach detailed the heartache of her son being gone and the process of the doctors running tests on him to take his organs for donations. In one photo, she laid in bed beside Crew while he was still alive, while another showed her on the ground in the hospital, her knees pulled up to her face.
“It’s all just too much. All of it,” she captioned the second post. “I know God has a plan for this, but I’m really really mad at him right now. I cry behind the bathroom door while Jeff holds me, because in the room over everyone else gets to laugh and go on with their lives, and it makes me so angry.”
“Running tests on my son’s body to see how his organs are functioning before they take them,” she continued. “Pumping breastmilk just to pour it down the drain. Hearing a baby cry. Seeing a baby his age. Shopping Nordstrom for the dress I’ll wear to my son’s funeral. It’s all too much. I’m sorry to vent, but this is my heart. And I need all the prayers to get through this.”
On Sunday, she shared a portrait photo of her family together while Crew is being held by Jesus. In the post, she revealed that Crew would be going into the operating room at noon on Sunday to “potentially save 3 to 4 babies lives.”
“Tonight we are soaking up every moment with him by bathing him, holding him and loving him,” she said. “We ask that you keep our family in your prayers tomorrow, knowing that it will be the hardest day of our life.”
On her Instagram Story Sunday, Leach said that they were still at the hospital and that the “process of organ donation is not always quick.” The next day, she said that the hospital staff would be lined up against the walls as Crew gets his organs donated at noon on Monday.
Leach posted more photos on her Instagram Story of various food and drinks that were donated to her, Jeff and their other children as they continued to wait in the hospital. Throughout the day, she also shared many sweet throwback videos of Crew and her other children from the past three months.
A GoFundMe page has also been started by Cory Walton to donate towards the Leach family. As of Monday afternoon, the page has raised over $110,000, with an initial goal of $100K.
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This article originally appeared on People.com