"I'm so used to like, playing a character, that it's hard for me be normal," she says in the trailer for This Is Paris.

By Aurelie Corinthios
August 17, 2020
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Paris Hilton/Youtube

This is Paris Hilton like you've never seen her before.

In the trailer for her upcoming YouTube Originals documentary, This Is Paris, the star pulls back the curtain on her glamorous life as she hints at painful childhood trauma.

"I feel like the whole world thinks they know me," she says. "No one really knows who I am. ... I don't even know who I am sometimes. I didn't used to be that way."

"I'm so used to like, playing a character, that it's hard for me be normal," she adds.

The trailer is interspersed with recent footage — like clips of the heiress fighting with someone backstage at one of her DJ sets — and older home videos of her as a child, including getting dropped off at boarding school in Utah as a teenager.

Her sister Nicky Rothschild Hilton and their mother Kathy Hilton also make appearances.

"Something happened in my childhood that I've never talked about with anyone," Paris admits.

"I just heard screaming bloody murder," Nicky recalls.

"But I couldn't tell you guys, because every time I tried, I would get punished by them," Paris says. "I still have nightmares about it. The only thing that saved my sanity was thinking about who I wanted to become when I got out of there. I just created this brand and this persona and this character, and I've been stuck with her ever since."

"They say [with] trauma, the mind may forget, but the body never forgets," Nicky explains. "It's trapped in you, and it can come out whenever."

The project, helmed by Emmy-winning director Alexandra Dean, promises to "uncover the hidden past of the international icon," with Paris confronting "the heartbreaking trauma that forged who she is today," according to the official description.

The star, whose great-grandfather Conrad Hilton founded Hilton Hotels, said filming the documentary was "almost therapeutic."

"I'm excited, but I'm also very nervous given the topics discussed in this film," she said on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last month. "It's things I've never talked about before, really personal and traumatic experiences, so to talk about that publicly is obviously very hard."

"Obviously I'm used to be on camera from being on camera for so long. But I've always been a very naturally shy person, so I loved just inventing this character and playing that character," she explained. "To actually be myself was a completely different experience, but also almost therapeutic in some way, where I learned so much about myself. I had no idea why I am the way I am, and now I understand myself so much more."

This Is Paris premieres Sep. 14 on Hilton's YouTube Channel.

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