Kim Kardashian Opens Up About Losing An Embryo, Feeling 'So Grateful' for Her Surrogate
“It is frustrating to not be able to do it on your own,” she said.
This article originally appeared on People.com.
The ups and downs of motherhood have the Kardashian-Jenner ladies consumed.
As Kim and Khloé Kardashian battled to buy mom Kris Jenner‘s love, Kim decided to move forward with her surrogate in Sunday’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Meanwhile, Kourtney refused to discuss her new relationship with her sisters.
Vying for Kris’ Love
The fight to be Kris’ favorite daughter started when the momager, 62, mentioned to Kim and Khloé how Kylie, 20, has been “so much nicer” to her lately. So Khloé, 33, decided to compete for Kris’ heart by rearranging her mom’s pantry in the likeness of her own hyper-organized kitchen. “This is my dream come true,” Kris declared of the surprise.
Not to be outdone, Kim, 37, brought over a cake from Kris’ favorite bakery, Hansen’s Cakes, that read “I Love You Mom.”
“Who knew that me mentioning that Kylie was being so nice to me would result in them being even nicer to me,” Kris said. “This is actually working out in my favor.”
When Khloé and Kim saw that Kylie sent Kris a toaster she’d been longing for — the same day the Kylie Cosmetics founder surprised her with a massage — the Good American jeans founder upped her game once more by closing down Saks Fifth Avenue for a private shopping trip for her and her mom.
“My mom’s other kids are dead to her after the Saks trip,” Khloé declared.
But once Khloé and Kim touched base with Kylie, the cosmetics mogul says she didn’t but Kris a toaster or massage after all. “I didn’t get her toaster,” Kylie said. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you guys are talking about … I don’t even get massages.”
So Khloé and Kim set out to get revenge on Kris and visited her with not one, but two Hansen’s cakes. But they weren’t for eating: the sisters bashed one on Kris’s head and threw the other one on the floor. “You fully scammed us!” Kim cried.
Kris had no regrets, responding, “If that’s what it takes for me to get you guys to me nice to me, at least I’m smart enough to figure that out.”
Kim’s Fertility Struggle
“Getting a surrogate and finding someone that you really trust really is so much more for difficult of a situation than you could really imagine,” Kim explained. “You have to like make sure that their lifestyle is healthy and they have to go through psychological testing, and it was maybe a year before we finalized our current situation. But I think everything happens for a reason, because the surrogate that I really loved got approved and she is such a nice person, like she’s so easy to talk to and she’s the perfect fit for us, but we have to decide quickly, are we really going to go through with this or are we gonna wait until we feel more prepared.”
Because she felt so strongly about her connection with surrogate, Kim revealed to her sisters that she and Kanye West decided to try one embryo with their current option. But the 10-day waiting period after implanting left Kim impatient.
“This is the craziest waiting game,” she told Khloé over the phone. “It’s so frustrating. It’s really nerve-wracking because you know it’s only a 60 percent chance it’ll take. One didn’t work for me. I tried it and I lost one of them.”
Khloé explained, “Before Kimberly got pregnant with Saint, she had an embryo implanted into her and that embryo did not take. So Kim is super nervous and anxious during this waiting period. Of course she wants to know is she or is she not having another baby.”
As viewers know, Kim and West, 40, are now expecting a baby girl via surrogate. While she was excited to share the news with the rest of the Kardashian clan, Kim admitted the situation felt different than when she was pregnant the first two times.
“It’s kind of weird when it’s not you, so I don’t know whether I should start eating donuts and celebrate like I would like old times or just go to the gym,” Kim told Kourtney. “I’m totally gonna forget and then a month before I’m gonna be like holly sh—, we need to get a nursery.”
After the news sunk in, Kim opened up to her sisters about how she’s handling the third pregnancy. “It is frustrating to not be able to do it on your own,” she said. “It is a weird dynamic. Like I go to all the doctors’ appointments and I try to be really present, but when you’re not carrying it yourself, it is such a fine balance of how much you’re going to be in their lives.”
Kim — who recalled almost getting into a car accident during her first pregnancy because of a paparazzi chase — admitted that she wants to protect her surrogate’s life and sense of normalcy.
“I’m seriously so grateful for that and that someone is so selfless and kind to do this, and I definitely want to keep it private,” she said. “I don’t want people to find my surrogate. Like I don’t want them to harass her. She doesn’t know how to handle stuff like that. This isn’t her world.”
Kourtney’s New Man
Kourtney also wanted to keep her world private. Fed up with her older sister not opening up about Younes Bendjima, Khloé constantly pressed Kourtney to own up to her latest relationship. She and Kim even bated Kourtney with a date with Chris Hemsworth — a plan the married actor wasn’t in the know on — to confirm her relationship status.
“If she won’t go with him, then she definitely has a boyfriend,” Kim said.
Kourtney didn’t take the bait, though, and Khloé ‘s frustration came to a head over lunch with their friend Larsa Pippen. The mother of three got caught smiling at her phone, and the Revenge Body host wasted no time confronting her. “I’m fed up with this whole silence game,” Khloé said.
So Kourtney revealed, “I’m going on a trip. He’s planning everything. It’s a surprise, so you’re not going to get to know the location, but I have been told what to pack.”
Since Kourtney refused to name Bendjima as her new beau, Khloé still wasn’t satisfied.
“People could piece things together,” Khloé said, referring to numerous shots of the new couple on vacation and out and about town. “What are we talking about this invisible man that has like some code word? That’s so crazy! Like how old are you, 3?”
“I don’t need to expose every aspect of my life,” Kourtney retorted. “I mean I don’t know what the balance should be with showing and not showing, but like you can’t like yell at me for like how I want to handle it and don’t. Before we started the show is when Scott [Disick] and I first starting being together. I haven’t been dating somebody since. I haven’t had a boyfriend since that.”
Now that Kourtney had finally called the 24-year-old model her boyfriend, Khloé retreated. And when discussing the big reveal with Kim, they established that Kourtney and “Y” are at the level where they’ll work out together with her trainer Joe. Khloé concluded, “That’s how you know it’s real.”
Keeping Up With the Kardashians airs Sundays on E! at 9 p.m. ET.