Courtesy of Manufacturers

Don’t worry, frost won't actually form on your pubic hair. 

By Samantha Lauriello
October 02, 2018

Baby, it’s (getting) cold outside, and it turns out, the freezing temperatures aren’t stopping at your front door. No, they’re making their way inside, up your pants, and straight into your vagina, leaving nothing but an icy tundra in their path. Uh, say what?

Before you go squatting over the fireplace to unfreeze your lady bits, you should know that winter vagina is equally as fictional as the abominable snowman. But when the the UK Daily Mirror reported that vaginas can enter “drought mode” during dry, frigid months, Jen Gunter, MD, a San Francisco-based ob-gyn, took it upon herself to debunk the idea in the most hilarious way.

RELATED: 10 Gifts You Should Buy Your Vagina

“Winter vagina is so bad that no one can possibly have sex December through March. You’ve seen a tongue on [a] flagpole in winter? Right. Like that, only worse. Try ripping that shit apart without anesthesia. Talk about roughing it in the bush,” Dr. Gunter wrote on her blog, where she's been known to call BS on the sexual health advice doled out by Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow's wellness brand.

She goes on to say vaginal moisture has nothing to do with the outside environment, but who cares about facts, right? Dr. Gunter’s faux tips for “winterizing” your vagina include standing with your legs apart over boiling mulled wine and herbs (hooray for humidity), braiding mistletoe into your pubic hair to help retain warmth, and staying away from clitoral antifreeze at all costs.

RELATED: The Best and Worst Foods for Your Vagina

While the wind chill won’t actually frost your downstairs, it’s no secret that heat enhances sexual sensation, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to keep yourself warm below the belt. In the spirit of Dr. Gunter’s lol-worthy take on winterizing your vagina, we’ve gathered five products to help you do exactly that. Sorry, that doesn’t include vaginal mistletoe.

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