The Secret to Hotter Sex
Rev it up
Inhale. Exhale. You do both all day long without even thinking about it. But did you know that simply paying attention to how you breathe between the sheets could be the difference between so-so and sensational sex? Give these Tantric sex–inspired breathing techniques a spin to feel more tuned in—and turned on—when it counts.
Slow it down
Most women breathe rapidly and shallowly during love-making, and then hold their breath during an orgasm. “All of this occurs automatically, without your even thinking about it,” says Barbara Bartlik, MD, a psychiatrist and sex therapist in New York City. “To increase the intensity of your orgasm, deliberately take slow, deep breaths as you feel yourself becoming more and more aroused. By slowing everything down, you will delay your orgasm and build the pleasurable tension.” You can do this over and over again, until you finally let yourself go.
Feel it where it counts
Want to get revved up before foreplay? Try this solo technique to get in the mood: Lie on your back with your hand on your abdomen while taking deep breaths through your nostrils. (You should feel your hand rise as you bring air into your belly and fall as you exhale.) When you’re totally relaxed, start to imagine that with each inhale you’re drawing the breath down into your genitals, awakening the area and infusing it with energy. “This type of deep breathing will actually increase the flow of blood to your genitals, intensifying your state of arousal and pleasure,” Dr. Bartlik says.
Inhaling and exhaling in sync with your partner is a simple yet powerful technique for increasing your emotional connection—and it can even lead to simultaneous orgasms, says Sayaka Adachi, a clinical sexologist and orgasm coach in San Diego.
Try tandem breathing for five minutes before, during, or after sex. You may feel silly at first—and laughing is OK—but stay with it:
Breathe together: the technique
Here’s how to do it: Lie in bed facing each other and look into each other’s eyes. As you do this, become aware of your breath. Then, notice his breath. Now, try to synchronize your breathing so that the two of you are inhaling and exhaling together. This will be easier if you start by breathing more deeply than normal, so that he can see, hear, and feel your breaths. Have him do the same for you. Once you’re breathing as one, imagine yourselves melting into each other, not knowing where one of you ends and the other begins. “As you get more in tune with each other’s breath,” Adachi says, “you’ll actually feel each other’s arousal, creating a deeper physical and emotional connection.”
Circle your breaths
Does your guy sometimes finish before you’ve even gotten started? “Circular breathing can help slow down your partner’s sexual energy and speed up yours, putting you on a much more even playing field,” Adachi says.
Circle your breaths: the technique
To begin, sit straddling your partner’s lap, and gaze into each other’s eyes. As he breathes out, you breathe in. Then, when you exhale, he inhales. Continue doing this for about 10 breaths or so, until it starts to feel natural. Next, as you breathe in, imagine energy from your partner entering you with your breath. (It may sound kind of kooky, we know. But stay with us here!) Then, draw that energy to your down-there zone and, as you exhale, imagine breathing out from your erogenous zone into your partner’s. As your partner breathes in, he should imagine the energy moving from your erogenous zone into his and draw that energy up through his body, breathing it back into your body to complete the circle.