7 Quiet Sex Positions You Need When You're a Guest in Someone's House
Going home for the holidays? Here's how to pull off guest-bedroom booty.
Heading home for the holidays with a significant other can be a lot of fun—especially because you'll escape the "so are you seeing anyone?" interrogation you usually endure from relatives. What’s not so fun? Trying to enjoy sexy alone time with your partner while you're staying at a family member's house. Sure the thrill of almost getting caught can be a turn-on...but not when it's by grandma.
The key to pulling off guest bedroom booty is by keeping things quiet. “Any position on the floor or with your feet on the ground will prevent noise from a squeaky bed or loose headboard," says Chelsea Holland, a sex and relationship therapist with the Intimacy Institute. These 7 hot and exciting positions meet that criteria. (Just please, remember to lock your bedroom or bathroom door before you get busy.)
It's super intimate, requires no acrobatic moves that might knock things to the floor, and the string of oh oh ohs you let out when you reach orgasm can easily be muffled by your partner putting their hand soft and tight over your mouth. “There's a good reason why this position is a classic,” says Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy emporium Babeland. “Missionary allows partners to be face-to-face for some hot eye contact or even a makeout session. Plus, having that close contact and grinding against bodies is a great way to stimulate against your clitoris.”
An update to the classic 69, this position has both partners lying down on their sides with their heads between each other's legs for lots of intense oral action. “Being side-to-side instead of on top of each other not only makes it easier to breathe, but it also takes the strain off of your necks (use pillows for extra comfort) and allows for incorporating hands, since you won't need them to support your body weight,” says Finn. “Plus, it's hard to moan too loud when your mouth is already busy.”
Shower sex can be awkward, but when you're in someone else's home, it has awesome advantages. Almost every bathroom door has a lock, and running water helps to drown out moans, groans, and the sound of bodies bumping and grinding. The water will also help you stay in the moment by blocking off distracting noise coming from the rest of the house. “Try it with one leg propped up on the tub for comfort,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, Astroglide’s resident sexologist. “And make sure to bring a tube of silicone lube in there with you, because the water washes away your natural lubrication.”
Face in pillow
A quieter version of doggy style, this position is self-explanatory: Lie on your stomach, your arms and legs spread out comfortably, so your partner can lay their body over yours and penetrate you from behind. Meanwhile, you can grind against the mattress, a pillow, or your hand for clitoral stimulation. It's also a great position for your partner to go deep and stroke your G spot. It's so pleasurable, you'll want to scream...luckily you can grab a pillow or two to muffle any moaning sounds, says Holland.
Similar to the cowgirl position, this puts you on top. Have your partner lie down on their back, then straddle them, keeping your feet planted firmly on the ground. “You can face him, face towards his feet, or even position yourself sideways to change the angle of penetration,” says Holland. “And you won’t end up rubbing your knees raw on the carpet.” Since you're in control, you can slow down and speed up at just the right pace that takes you to an orgasm yet doesn't cause excessive noise from your bodies crashing together.
The curled angel
For this variation of spooning, you and your partner lie on your sides, facing the same direction, with you on the inside (aka the "little spoon"). Raise your top leg and bend a bit at the waist toward your partner's pelvis. Says Rachel Wright, a sex expert and marriage and family therapist in New York City: “Once the penis is inside, the leg can be lowered and you can play around. It’s a great position for squeaky beds, or just not wanting to make a lot of sound—without losing the intimacy.”
The rocking horse
Have your partner sit cross-legged and get them to lean back, using either the wall or their hands for support. Then kneel over their lap, hugging them with your thighs, and lower your body down until they're inside you. “This move puts the woman in charge of the speed and depth of penetration,” without a ton of aggressive thrusting, says Wright. In other words, you can rock yourselves to orgasm without having the floor creak and everyone downstairs know about it. “Plus, this position has excellent clitoral access and it’s great for female G-spot stimulation.” Win-win!
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