The Dame Aer Vibrator Is the Best Sex Toy I've Ever Used

From the ages of 17 to 21, I fully believed my boyfriend was satisfying me sexually. When we broke up, let me tell you: I realized I was wrong. But don't get it twisted: It wasn't new partners that sparked my sexual awakening: It was the Dame Aer vibrator.

Call me crazy, but I never masturbated when I was dating my ex. I was a naive, uninformed teenager experiencing all my sexual firsts with him, and solo play never felt necessary. Fast forward to several years post-breakup when I still hadn't explored my own body alone, and my friends finally convinced me to pop my sex toy cherry. But that first vibrator purchase (a bullet vibe from a local sex shop) just didn't do it for me, and I quickly decided they were overrated.

Thankfully, soon after, my friend gave the Dame Aer a whirl, gushed about it incessantly, and practically added it to my shopping cart herself. "I'm telling you, your life will never be the same," she insisted. And boy, oh boy, she was right.

The first time I tried the Dame Aer, I was apprehensive, but in less than one minute, any doubts I had about its hype were promptly squashed. The clit-suction toy (the first of its kind at Dame Products, the brand on a mission to close the pleasure gap in the bedroom) creates a soft seal around your clitoris for an immediate, intense sensation that mimics oral sex. I'm talking lights-out pleasure right away.

To buy: Dame Aer Suction Toy, $95; dame.com

After my first go-around with the Dame Aer, I stared at my ceiling, open-mouthed, in awe of what this little toy could do. "Oh," I thought. "So this is what people are talking about when they say 'mind-blowing orgasms.'" It was the epitome of an aha moment, and to my surprise, I registered that I'd actually never had an orgasm before. To be clear, this isn't by fault of my ex, or any of the partners that came after him—only 18% of women orgasm from penetration alone, according to a 2018 study.

So, clit-focused toys are what send many women over the edge, myself included (as the Dame Aer taught me, thankfully.) But unlike suction toys that came before it, the Dame Aer has a larger and deeper opening, so it works for clitorises of all sizes. Plus, it includes five patterns and intensities, so you can customize your experience for a longer buildup or an intense climax right off the bat. Think: 30 seconds at the highest setting, no joke.

The Dame Aer uses pressure wave technology to create rhythmic pulses of air that imitate a tongue fluttering and mouth sucking—but to be frank, no oral sex has ever provided me with the pleasure that this powerhouse has. Maybe I've had partners who are simply un-skilled at oral sex, or maybe the Dame Aer is just that good. I almost feel bad for anyone who gives me oral now, because the bar is high.

Like all of the Dame Products, this clitoral stimulator is made with medical grade silicone that's waterproof, so shower and bath time play is fair game. My friend was right when she said the Dame Aer would change my life—and I'm forever grateful that she pushed me toward it, and in turn, toward my sexual epiphany. Here's to you experiencing yours.