"At 14 hours when I chose to get an epidural I felt guilty."

Shawn Johnson’s birth of her first child didn’t go as planned, and the Olympian feels seriously “guilty” about it.

Nearly two weeks after welcoming her daughter, Drew Hazel, with husband Andrew East into the world, Johnson detailed her painful 22-hour labor in an Instagram post Thursday. In it, she explains that she chose to get an epidural and eventually a C-section—two things she doesn’t feel great about.

“22 hours of labor to end in a c section,” she started the poignant post, accompanied by an intimate photo of the couple cuddling with their new baby. “I went in with such a stubborn mindset of thinking the only way I could bring our baby into the world was naturally. No meds no intervention.”

However, after 14 hours of labor pains, she “chose to get an epidural,” which left her feeling “guilty.” Eight hours later, her doctors crushed her hopes of a vaginal birth. “At 22 hours when we were told I had to get a c section I felt like I had failed,” she confessed. (Just a quick FYI: C-sections are extremely common. According to the most recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 32% of all deliveries are done by C-section.)

Luckily for Johnson, the guilt and feelings of failure didn’t last long. “But after holding our sweet girl in my arms and being told everything went well and she had made it to us safely I could [sic] have cared less,” she wrote. “My/our world no longer has anything to do with us but everything to do with her. It’s all for her and I will forever do anything for this girl that I love more than I ever could imagine. A love no one can ever prepare you for."

Johnson also went on to share a sweet sentiment she told her husband in the delivery room: "@andrewdeast I meant it in the hospital when I said you will forever be my number one but she will now forever be OUR number one together,” she wrote, along with thanking the doctors and nurses who brought their daughter into the world "safely."

But Johnson and East didn't stop with a single Instagram post—the couple also shared a vlog on YouTube (only part one, as of right now) of their entire 22-hour delivery, complete with the moment Johnson had to get her epidural. 

More is clearly to come on Johnson and East's birth vlog, but apparently the couple's ordeal went more than OK when they finally welcomed their baby girl into the world. Now, the question everyone's wondering: When will Drew start taking gymnastics classes?

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