Here’s how she works towards self-love without tracking calories.

By Samantha Lauriello
October 22, 2018

Dieting is tricky business. Constantly setting goals for our bodies can sometimes leave us feeling perpetually unsatisfied with our progress. Influencer Ashley Romano has been there, and recently, she shared a photo of her in her bra and underwear to show dieting doesn’t equal happiness.

Romano doesn’t sugarcoat it; she’s hasn’t been feeling very body confident lately. “Nothing fits, I am uncomfortable in my clothes and equally as uncomfortable naked,” she wrote in an October 11 Instagram post. Girl, we all have those days.

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For months I have been embarrassed and ashamed at what I see in the mirror. I haven’t weighed myself but I know I have to be close to 230lbs right now. Nothing fits, I am uncomfortable in my clothes and equally as uncomfortable naked. I’m going out tonight and am not even excited because my only options that don’t make me feel like a sausage are yoga pants and T-shirt’s. I miss being able to throw on anything and it would not only fit, but fit comfortably. I miss being able to sit down without my jeans cutting into me. When I look in the mirror I instantly think “you need to get on a diet, Ashley.” My desire to start counting calories or following a routine is at a 100, but there’s a little piece of me that doesn’t want to let go of the progress I have made with #intuitiveeating so far (I am barely binge eating anymore) For some reason my brain still equates dieting with feeling good about myself even though that’s not accurate... I was just thinking back to Halloween 2015 when my best friend was in town celebrating with me and I was a very fit 170lbs. I remember having a breakdown and crying before we went out because I felt too fat for my costume. Looking at those pictures now 🤦‍♀️ I looked amazing. So why do I feel like a diet is going to make me feel better when even at my low weight I still saw myself as too big? I know better than to believe thinness is the answer to feeling good about myself but that #dietculture trap is tugging on me hard AF right now... i can’t even count how many coaches have suggested I love on and compliment myself, naked, in front of a mirror, daily... & I have never taken their advice... until today. I’ve been done being obsessed with calories in vs calories out and muscle groups and cheat days.... but I am also done feeling embarrassed by my body and my journey. This is my public commitment to learning to love myself unconditionally. I’ve been saying things to myself, about my own body, that I would never say to or about someone I love. That ends today. #selflove #selfcare #thickfit #dietculturedropout #antidiet #thestruggle #plussize #selfacceptance #effyourbeautystandards #edrecovery

A post shared by Ashley Romano (@biggirlfitgirl) on

She goes on to admit her desire to diet is at an all-time high, but she knows that’s not the answer. “For some reason my brain still equates dieting with feeling good about myself even though that’s not accurate,” Romano wrote.

The second photo in the post shows why dieting won't solve her self-love struggles. It's a shot of Romano looking fierce in a sparkly red Halloween costume about three years ago. The problem is, though we can see how on point she looked that night, Romano said at the time, she saw the exact opposite.

“I was a very fit 170lbs. I remember having a breakdown and crying before we went out because I felt too fat for my costume. Looking at those pictures now... I looked amazing,” she wrote.

That brought her to the age-old question: “So why do I feel like a diet is going to make me feel better when even at my low weight I still saw myself as too big?”

RELATED: This Influencer Just Showed How Different Reality and Social Media Are—by Pulling Down Her Pants

Romano said she knows better than to believe losing weight will make her self-confident, but she can’t help but feel the pressure of flawed cultural beauty standards. This time, instead of giving in to the temptation to strive for thinness, Romano is choosing a different path: reminding her body she loves it no matter what.

“I can’t even count how many coaches have suggested I love on and compliment myself, naked, in front of a mirror, daily... and I have never taken their advice... until today,” she wrote.

It can be challenging to be kind to our bodies, but Romano is making a promise to do so. “This is my public commitment to learning to love myself unconditionally. I’ve been saying things to myself, about my own body, that I would never say to or about someone I love. That ends today.”

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