"I've beaten myself up about not being a certain thing," the actress (and author) says in a new interview.

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Drew Barrymore sits high on our list of celebrities that would make an amazing BFF. She’s just like us: She does her makeup on the subway! She goes crazy for Chinese food! So it’s no surprise that she got so real about her body struggles in her latest interview.

The actress and author of her upcoming memoir, Wildflower ($17, amazon.com), explained to InStyle that while she’s more accepting of her body than she used to be, she still struggles with body image now and again.

“I’ve beaten myself up about not being a certain thing,” Barrymore said. “If someone says, ‘Let’s go to the beach today,’ my first thought is, ‘F––, what am I going to wear?’ I remember when Amy Schumer was on Ellen, she called her midsection a ‘lava lamp.’ I thought, That was perfect! That’s what I’ve been trying to say. But then I saw her in Trainwreck, and she looked so good in a tiny bra and short skirt. I was like, ‘No, you don’t have a lava lamp.’”

“I am who I am and I just don’t have a bikini body,” Barrymore continued. “I don’t even have a one-piece body anymore! But I am loving the long rash guard, board-shorts look.”

But more than anything, she’s focusing on raising her two adorable daughters, and wants to be an honest mother to them—which means not hiding her tumultuous childhood.

“I’m not going to pretend to my daughters that I’m pure as the driven snow,” she said. “The best I can do is open up my heart to them. That’s soul-baring enough. Making bad decisions doesn’t make you a bad person. It is how you learn to make better choices.”

And just how much Barrymore opens up her heart to others is clearly what we all love about her—so Drew, wine night later?