Do it Faster: Get Over a Grudge

A friend ticked you off? Here’s how to move past it, suggests Philip H. Friedman, PhD, author of The Forgiveness Solution.

“In life, you get a choice between being right and being happy,” Friedman says. After a blowup, remind yourself what you really desire—happiness, peace, and fulfillment—to help you get over your frustration.

Expectations we put on others are often at the root of hurt feelings, what Friedman calls should-ing—“She should have RSVP’d sooner.” Accept that there’s more than one way for people to act, and it’ll be easier to move on.

Ask yourself what kind of relationship you want, and only reach out when you’re feeling positive and ready to patch things up.