Skip to content

Top Navigation

Health.com Health.com
  • Health Conditions A-Z
  • News
  • Coronavirus
  • Diet & Nutrition
  • Fitness
  • Beauty
  • Mind & Body
  • Lifestyle
  • Weight Loss
  • Newsletter
  • Promo

Profile Menu

Your Account

Account

  • Join Now
  • Email Preferences this link opens in a new tab
  • Newsletters
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Help
  • Logout

More

  • Give a Gift Subscription this link opens in a new tab
Login
Subscribe
Pin FB

Explore Health.com

Health.com Health.com
  • Explore

    Explore

    • Is Your Doctor Gaslighting You? Here's What to Do

      How to handle a physician who doubts or dismisses your symptoms. Read More Next
    • 9 Signs It's More Serious Than the Common Cold

      Doctors explain how to tell if you have a head cold or something more serious that requires medical attention, such as the flu, strep throat, meningitis, or mono. Read More Next
    • How Your Period Changes During Your 20s, 30s, and 40s

      From easier cramps to a heavier flow, here's a guide on what to expect decade by decade. Read More Next
  • Health Conditions A-Z

    Health Conditions A-Z

    See all Health Conditions A-Z

    12 Anxiety Symptoms That Might Point to a Disorder

    The symptoms of anxiety can be hard to detect. Here are the ones you need to pay attention to, and how to know if you may have an anxiety disorder.
    • Allergies
    • Anxiety
    • Birth Control
    • Breast Cancer
    • Coronavirus
    • Chronic Pain
    • Cold, Flu, and Sinus
    • Depression
    • Digestive Health
    • Diabetes (Type 2)
    • Eczema
    • Eye Health
    • Fibromyalgia
    • Heart Disease
    • Headaches and Migraines
    • Oral Health
    • Pregnancy
    • Psoriasis
    • Sexual Health
    • Skin Conditions
    • Sleep
    • Thyroid
  • News

    News

    See all News

    Shannen Doherty Reveals Stage 4 Breast Cancer Diagnosis—Here's What It Means

    "I'm petrified," the actress said when she shared the news that her breast cancer came back. Here's why a stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis can be so frightening.
    • Celebrities
  • Coronavirus
  • Diet & Nutrition

    Diet & Nutrition

    The Best (and Worst) Diets of 2020, According to Experts

    FYI: The keto diet is not number one.
    • Food
    • Nutrition
    • Vitamins and Supplements
    • Groceries
    • Restaurants
    • Diets
    • Keto Diet
    • Mediterranean Diet
    • Whole30
    • Recipes
  • Fitness

    Fitness

    See all Fitness

    10 Moves for a Cardio Workout at Home—No Equipment Required

    Stay in your living room and still spike your heart rate.
    • Cardio Workouts
    • Strength Training
    • Yoga
    • Ab Workouts
    • Arm Workouts
    • Leg Workouts
    • Butt Workouts
    • Fitness Gear
  • Beauty

    Beauty

    See all Beauty

    These 13 Women Prove Every Body Is a Bikini Body

    We're loving their inspirational, body-positive messages.
    • Skincare
    • Makeup
    • Hair
    • Nails
  • Mind & Body

    Mind & Body

    See all Mind & Body

    Why Do People Lie? We Asked an Expert

    Here's the truth about lying.
    • Body Positivity
    • Self-Care
    • Misdiagnosed
    • Invisible Illness
    • LGBTQ+ Health
    • Health Diversity and Inclusion
    • Resolution Reboot
  • Lifestyle

    Lifestyle

    20 Things You Should Throw Away for Better Health

    Clean out expired products and clutter to make way for a healthier you.
    • Healthy Home
    • Pets
    • Family
    • Relationships
    • Style
    • Holidays
    • Sex
    • Gifts
    • Money
    • Tech
    • Medicare
    • Best Life Now
  • Weight Loss
  • Newsletter
  • Promo

Profile Menu

Subscribe this link opens in a new tab
Your Account

Account

  • Join Now
  • Email Preferences this link opens in a new tab
  • Newsletters
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Help
  • Logout

More

  • Give a Gift Subscription this link opens in a new tab
Login
Sweepstakes

Follow us

  1. Home Chevron Right
  2. Mind & Body Chevron Right
  3. 13 Things You Should Know Before Becoming a Caregiver

13 Things You Should Know Before Becoming a Caregiver

By Maria Masters
September 29, 2015
Skip gallery slides
Save Pin
Credit: Getty Images
Taking care of someone you love is challenging. Here are some tips to make it a little easier.
Start Slideshow

1 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Caring for loved ones

Credit: Getty Images

Every year, an estimated 43.5 million adults in the U.S.—about 60% of them women—act as caregivers in some way to a loved one. Half the time, they're taking care of one of their relatives, and most often it's an aging parent or parent in-law. It's a responsibility that won't always be easy, but it can be rewarding. Really. But before you jump (or are thrust) into the situation, it helps to know what to expect.

1 of 14

Advertisement
Advertisement

2 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Call a family meeting

Credit: Getty Images

First things first: Assemble your caregiving team. That can include immediate relatives, extended family, or even close friends and neighbors, says Leah Eskanzi, a spokesperson for the Family Caregiver Alliance. Anyone who may be helping out with the responsibilities should be invited to this initial conversation—including your care recipient, assuming they are physically or mentally able participate. This is especially important if the person is in the very early stages of an illness like dementia, says Eskanzi. You want to involve them in any kind of estate planning while they can still make decisions. "You may also want to call in a third-party mediator or social worker to help run the conversation, particularly if you think there might be any disagreements," she says.

2 of 14

3 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Make a plan

Credit: Getty Images

Unfortunately, this is something that many families avoid until it's too late. "The number one thing I've learned with family caregivers is that no one really plans," says Eskanzi. "We're such an independent society and we don't want to think about our loved ones getting a debilitating disease." Eskanzi's organization provides tons of caregiver resources for people who are just getting started—including this super-helpful Where to Find My Important Papers checklist, which can help families assemble (and locate) all the documents they'll need to take care of their relative.

RELATED: 5 Ways to Deal With Caregiver Stress

3 of 14

Advertisement

4 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Think about whether you want to be compensated

Credit: Getty Images

When a family member falls ill, the responsibility of caregiving usually falls to the adult daughter, says Lisa Fredman, Ph.D., an epidemiologist at Boston University who has researched this subject. And since women often end up taking on the caregiving duties, their income and career may suffer. One survey found that about 60% of all caregivers have to adjust their work schedule around their new responsibilities, either by cutting back on their hours, taking a leave of absence, or more. You may not want to accept money for taking care of a relative, but if you do, consider setting up what's called a personal caregiver agreement. It doesn't have to be drafted by a lawyer, but this contract will need to be in writing and should contain a detailed description of your expected tasks and payments. You may need the money: Another survey found that the average cost of caregiving is $5,531 a year. Yes, a contract may sound clinical, but it may also spare your family from some inevitable fighting in the future—and that can be worth a lot more than money.

RELATED: How to Be a Caregiver and Not Go Broke Yourself

4 of 14

5 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Consider hiring some help

Credit: Getty Images

You might not be able to do it all. And that's okay. " Caregivers often feel guilty that they aren't doing enough," says Eskanzi. "They have an idealized image of what [the job] entails." That's where some in-home help can make all the difference. Whether you recruit an aide from an agency or hire a private worker, it's helpful to make a list of tasks that you'd like to delegate. (If it's possible, your relative should have a say in this as well.) About 40% of caregivers say that dealing with incontinence or diapers is one of their most difficult tasks; about 30% of them say helping their relative shower and use the bathroom are hard as well. Would you prefer if a non-family member tackled the bathing and dressing? Or if a professional managed all the medications and doctors' appointments? A little strategic help can make the whole experience seem easier.

5 of 14

6 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Know the law

Credit: Getty Images

It's that subject no one wants to talk about. But if you're the primary caregiver, especially of a person who's suffering from an illness that causes memory loss, you might want to look into a document called power of attorney. (And yes, it's as serious as it sounds.) It's a legal authority that can allow you to make financial decisions on behalf of your loved one. The laws concerning power of attorney vary by state, so it can be a good idea to consult an elder law attorney—find one here—to prepare any documents. In addition, you should discuss advance directives, including a living will, which spells out the type of care your loved one wants at the end of life, and a health care power of attorney, which allows you to make health care decisions too.

6 of 14

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement

7 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Protect your back

Credit: Getty Images

Caregiving can be hard on the body. The constant bending and lifting can leave you with chronic back pain or other injuries. Hospital workers are trained to lift and move patients, and you should consider training too. Ask a physical therapist for back stretches and exercises to help prevent back injury and prevent problems before they get started. Also, get the right equipment to make your job easier, whether it's walker, hospital bed, or handgrips in the bathroom. Medicare will often cover the cost of renting "durable medical equipment," such as a wheelchairs.

RELATED: 15 Natural Back Pain Remedies

7 of 14

8 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Reach out to your community

Credit: Getty Images

About 1 in 3 caregivers don't receive any help, either from paid workers or unpaid volunteers. But you'd be surprised at how many Good Samaritans are willing to lend a hand. Churches, synagogues, or schools often provide meals for elders and Meals on Wheels will deliver food to your door. Another resource is Eldercare Locator, which connects older people and their caregivers with local aging organizations; it's one of the best resources caregivers can have, says Cindi Hounsell, the president of Wiser Women, a nonprofit organization that helps women plan for retirement.

8 of 14

9 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Don't underestimate the responsibility

Credit: Getty Images

On average, caregivers have been helping out their loved ones for 4 years. (And about 1 in 4 of them have been in that role for 5 or more years.) "In the beginning, you might think of yourself as 'just helping out,'" says Eskanzi. "But as the illness proceeds, the demands can keep growing." Not only that, but new health problems can crop up unexpectedly. Almost 40% of all people who are receiving care have more than one illness or health problem. You won't be able to predict everything the future holds, says Fredman. But you can ask for help and give yourself the occasional breather.

9 of 14

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement

10 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Don't beat yourself up about mood swings

Credit: Getty Images

They're normal. "It's common for caregivers to feel conflicting emotions," says Fredman, who points out that although these feelings can range the positive to the negative, it's the latter that really makes people feel guilty. Once you start taking care of a parent or relative, it's possible for anger, frustration, and resentment to creep in. All perfectly understandable. Consider some facts: About 50% of all caregivers feel as if they were forced into their role, 38% say they're emotionally stressed, and around 40% are performing medical or nursing tasks without ever being trained, according to a 2015 survey. Um, that's a lot of pressure. So forgive yourself for the times you lose your temper (and know that you aren't alone).

RELATED: Best and Worst Ways to Cope With Stress

10 of 14

11 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Be patient with your other family members

Credit: Getty Images

It can be hard enough dealing with a brother or sister under normal circumstances—throw in the long-term care of a parent, and things can get ugly, quickly. "The experience can bring up unresolved issues," says Eskanzi. "And the caregiving can reflect the family dynamics." In other words, if you were the eldest or "responsible" sibling, your brothers or sisters may assume that you'll handle most of the logistics. On the other hand, if you're one of the younger children, your older siblings might not think you can handle the responsibility. Not only that, says Leah, "but siblings have different types of relationships with their parents—not everyone has been treated the same." Communication is key, but keep it healthy—don't try and guilt anyone or assume you know how they're feeling.

11 of 14

12 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Take care of yourself

Credit: Getty Images

It sounds cheesy, right? But it's actually one of the most important things you'll do for the person you are caring for. Think about it: If you're healthy, you'll have more energy, strength, and a stronger immune system, says Laura Rice-Oeschger, LMSW, a wellness coordinator at the University of Michigan. Problem is, it's hard to pay attention to yourself when you're so focused on someone else. The guilt factor also enters into our consciousness: "We equate self-care with self-indulgence," she says. Caregivers experience more stress and are more susceptible to panic and anxiety disorders than their non-caregiving counterparts, according to one 2014 study from the United Kingdom. You'll have to be proactive. Mindfulness can help—research has found that caregivers who practiced this stress reduction technique were able to lower their anxiety levels by the end of the 8-week study. "Take 30-second breaks throughout the day and pay attention to all your senses, your posture, and your breathing," says Rice-Oeschgner.

Watch the video: A Meditation to De-Stress  

12 of 14

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement

13 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Don't forget to get out once in a while

Credit: Getty Images

Taking care of a relative can crowd out your social life. Suddenly you find yourself spending more time at home and less time with your friends. That all adds up, which is why researchers caution that caregivers find themselves isolated from others—which then increases their stress levels. But not only should you try to maintain your old friendships, you should also try to seek out new ones, at, say a local caregiver support group, says Rice-Oeschgner. "Bonding is important for a healthy caregiving experience," she says.

13 of 14

14 of 14

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Remember: This is a good thing

Credit: Getty Images

There has been a lot of talk about the negatives of caregiving. But for years, researchers have known that there are also benefits to looking after a loved one, too. "It's psychologically gratifying," says Fredman, whose research has found that caregivers actually live longer than non-caregivers. (This could be because people who are taking care of someone else tend to be healthy in general, but it's also true that altruism and volunteering is linked to longevity too.) In fact, one study found that caregivers receive a lot satisfaction from caring for a loved one—that it, in fact, "gave sense to their lives." Makes a lot of sense to us.

14 of 14

Replay gallery

Share the Gallery

Pinterest Facebook

Up Next

By Maria Masters

Share the Gallery

Pinterest Facebook
Trending Videos
Advertisement
Skip slide summaries

Everything in This Slideshow

Advertisement

View All

1 of 14 Caring for loved ones
2 of 14 Call a family meeting
3 of 14 Make a plan
4 of 14 Think about whether you want to be compensated
5 of 14 Consider hiring some help
6 of 14 Know the law
7 of 14 Protect your back
8 of 14 Reach out to your community
9 of 14 Don't underestimate the responsibility
10 of 14 Don't beat yourself up about mood swings
11 of 14 Be patient with your other family members
12 of 14 Take care of yourself
13 of 14 Don't forget to get out once in a while
14 of 14 Remember: This is a good thing

Share options

Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Login

Health.com

Magazines & More

Learn More

  • About Us
  • Subscribe this link opens in a new tab
  • Contact us
  • Advertise this link opens in a new tab
  • Content Licensing this link opens in a new tab
  • Sitemap

Connect

Follow Us
Subscribe to Our Newsletter
Other Meredith Sites

Other Meredith Sites

  • 4 Your Health this link opens in a new tab
  • Allrecipes this link opens in a new tab
  • All People Quilt this link opens in a new tab
  • Better Homes & Gardens this link opens in a new tab
  • Bizrate Insights this link opens in a new tab
  • Bizrate Surveys this link opens in a new tab
  • Cooking Light this link opens in a new tab
  • Daily Paws this link opens in a new tab
  • EatingWell this link opens in a new tab
  • Eat This, Not That this link opens in a new tab
  • Entertainment Weekly this link opens in a new tab
  • Food & Wine this link opens in a new tab
  • Hello Giggles this link opens in a new tab
  • Instyle this link opens in a new tab
  • Martha Stewart this link opens in a new tab
  • Midwest Living this link opens in a new tab
  • More this link opens in a new tab
  • MyRecipes this link opens in a new tab
  • MyWedding this link opens in a new tab
  • My Food and Family this link opens in a new tab
  • MyLife this link opens in a new tab
  • Parenting this link opens in a new tab
  • Parents this link opens in a new tab
  • People this link opens in a new tab
  • People en Español this link opens in a new tab
  • Rachael Ray Magazine this link opens in a new tab
  • Real Simple this link opens in a new tab
  • Ser Padres this link opens in a new tab
  • Shape this link opens in a new tab
  • Siempre Mujer this link opens in a new tab
  • Southern Living this link opens in a new tab
  • SwearBy this link opens in a new tab
  • Travel & Leisure this link opens in a new tab
Health.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. © Copyright 2021 Meredith Corporation. All rights reserved. The material in this site is intended to be of general informational use and is not intended to constitute medical advice, probable diagnosis, or recommended treatments. All products and services featured are selected by our editors. Health.com may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice. Privacy Policythis link opens in a new tab Terms of Servicethis link opens in a new tab Ad Choicesthis link opens in a new tab California Do Not Sellthis link opens a modal window Web Accessibilitythis link opens in a new tab
© Copyright . All rights reserved. Printed from https://www.health.com

View image

13 Things You Should Know Before Becoming a Caregiver
this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines.