8 Reasons Sex Is Better After 50
Let’s get it on
Sex after menopause? Some experts will tell you it’s a downhill ride of waning sex drive and dried up hormones.
Sorry, we’re not buying it. We happen to think there are plenty of 50-plus babes who are rocking it just as much as in their younger days. (See Madonna.) And there’s no reason the rest of us shouldn’t too.
“You’re not bothered by menses. You’re not bothered by kids in the house. You can have sex in any room in the house,” says Irwin Goldstein, MD, the director of San Diego Sexual Medicine at Alvarado Hospital. “You can have the greatest sex life on earth.”
No pregnancy worries
“Forty to fifty is still an anxiety point for many women because you can still get pregnant,” says Margaret E. Wierman, MD, a professor of medicine, physiology, and biophysics at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center, in Denver. “Once you’re menopausal, that worry is gone.”
Think about it—no tampons, pads, pills, diaphragms, IUDs, or condoms (if you have a long-term monogamous partner). What could be better?
“Time is a huge factor,” says Amanda Richards, MD, an associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Miami’s Miller School of Medicine.
“Even menopausal women who are mothers are usually no longer the classic soccer mom,” she says. “Children are more independent, and the couple has more time for themselves and their relationship.”
You know what you want
“Menopause is a very defining time for most women, many of whom realize that they have put their sexuality on the back burner for way too long, and if they don’t use it, they will lose it for good,” says Dr. Richards.
“There’s some data to suggest that women become less inhibited as they age, so it’s often a time of relaxation and being comfortable with who you are, and that often improves sexual functioning and sexual performance,” says Dr. Wierman.
You may want it more
Experts will tell you that declining hormones could mean you’ll want it less, but that isn’t necessarily so. Desire, once quelled by birth control pills, could resurge, says Dr. Richards.
And if desire is a problem, proper hormone management can help, she says. While long-term use of traditional hormone replacement therapies, which include estrogen and progestin, are no longer recommended due to the heart and health risks, there are other options.
Hormone therapies that include testosterone are being explored as a way to boost libido, says Dr. Richards.
You’re financially stable
Older women tend to have more disposable income to spend on dinner dates and romantic getaways than they did in their younger years, says Dr. Richards.
You’ve worked hard; now’s the time to spend a little on your love life.
But this can be an excuse to experiment and discover new, more pleasurable experiences, courtesy of the lubricant aisle at your local drugstore.
“Vaginal dryness after menopause may encourage woman to experiment with vaginal lubricants designed to promote vasodilation and thus increase pleasure, such as K-Y Intense,” says Dr. Richards.
Your career is stable
“Menopausal women are more likely to have achieved their career goals and therefore feel less stressed,” Dr. Richards says. “Stress has a very negative effect on sexual desire.”
Partner problems can be fixed
Whatever the problem—premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, low hormones—there’s a treatment, compliments of modern medicine.
Unresolved sexual problems can even have a silver lining. “Menopausal woman may have more mature partners, who, due to performance issues, are open to the use of vibrators for a more satisfying sexual experience,” Dr. Richards says.