Sad but true: It's always a surprise when Hollywood couples last. Sometimes, even the celebrities themselves can't believe it.
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Sad but true: It’s always a surprise when Hollywood couples last. Sometimes, even the celebrities themselves can’t believe it.

"We go through so much together—it's a miracle that we could stay together this long," says Gwen Stefani about her 13-year marriage to Gavin Rossdale in the March issue of Cosmopolitan.

The couple married in 2002, after six years of dating. Despite their hectic schedules—he’s on tour with his band Bush, while she runs her fashion lines, was a mentor on The Voice, and will be back performing with her band No Doubt this spring—they’ve found a way to make it work. Here, Gwen’s refreshingly realistic advice on how to go to distance.

Don’t retire the thoughtful gestures

Just because you’ve been married for over a decade doesn’t mean all the sweet things you once did for each other need to come to a halt. "[Gavin's] on a short tour right now, and he wrote me the sweetest note this morning," says Stefani.

Make you-time a priority

"It's good to have those days when we both do our own things," Stefani says. "I think that's what keeps relationships going, when both people can be themselves and have their own individuality." A recent study even found that “high quality” me time (so doing something you’re passionate about) improves your psychological well being.

Keep up the attraction

"I never really saw myself landing a guy that hot," Stefani says. "I don't know if I was a nerd in high school, but I definitely wasn't the super-cute cheerleader so I never saw myself getting somebody like that. But I do think he's quite handsome. It's not the most important thing about him, but it is nice … and he makes really cute babies.” And the two aren't afraid to show it: They recently capped off the People Awards with some red wine and PDA.