Next time things are heating up between you and your partner, take the opportunity to climb aboard and get on top. Not only can it be a lot more playful than your usual go-to position, but cowgirl-style sex offers distinct advantages.
“You get a visceral and symbolic sense of control when you’re not underneath the man,” says Boston-based sex therapist Aline Zoldbrod, PhD, of SexSmart.com. Plus, if you have trouble reaching orgasm, being on top lets you control the speed and depth, she adds, so the action is more to your liking. And you can do it all without ordering him to go harder, faster, or slower, like you may find yourself doing when he's at the helm.
True, woman on top itself is not new. But trying out different variations can help you discover exactly what brings you the most pleasure. “Research shows that every single woman has a different recipe for what she likes,” says Zoldbrod. Here are five fresh new positions that make the most of being in the saddle.
The clitoral rock
Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm during intercourse, says Zoldbrod. (Which you already know, but it bears repeating.) This woman on top spin delivers: When you’re comfortably on top and he's inside you, lean your body forward, your hands beside or over his head on the bed for support. Using your hips, rock back and forth and side to side until you find the angle that lets your clitoris rub against your partner's lower abdomen or pubic bone. Your partner is practically caged inside you as you bring yourself to O town.
While your partner sits comfortably cross-legged, lower yourself onto his penis in a sitting position, facing forward. Wrap your legs around his torso for balance, and hold each other at the shoulders or lower backs. Grind yourself slowly against him, swaying back and forth while looking into each other's eyes. This is a super close upgrade that maximizes body and eye contact. And with him supporting your body weight, you can focus solely on all the pleasure you're feeling.
If you're in the mood for hard and fast action, this one's for you. Lower yourself onto your partner's penis in a squat position, so your feet are flat on the bed and you can use your lower-body muscles to power your thrusts. You may not be able to sustain this position for very long, depending on how strong your legs are. But you'll be able to get his penis deep inside you for maximum pleasure, and he can easily reach up and stroke your clitoris or breasts.
You're on top of him in this one, but instead of facing forward, turn around to face his feet, extending your legs outside his. The benefit for him: a very sexy view of your hips and butt as you take charge of the bumping and grinding. Reverse cowgirl hits all your buttons too—your partner can easily touch your clitoris or play with your nipples for extra stimulation. And if you arch your back, his penis can rub against your G-spot.
Reverse cowgirl leg stretch
Usually during reverse cowgirl, your partner keeps his legs close together, while you have yours outside his, maximizing your control. This twist has him widening his legs while you keep yours tight inside his. With your legs close together, he'll feel snug inside your vagina, and that creates more intense and pleasurable friction. And since you'll have less control over the pace and thrusting, he gets to take over and steer the action . . . until you decide you want the reins again.