Less carnal, more connected

Jessica Migala
May 30, 2018

Doggy style is the go-to sex position for many couples, and it's not hard to understand why. For guys, it offers an incredible view and control over the speed and depth of penetration, says Emily Morse, creator and host of the podcast Sex with Emily who has a doctorate in human sexuality. For women, it's a chance to relinquish the reins and just enjoy the action, which includes lots of opportunity for G-spot stroking. No wonder it's one of the most Googled sex positions, according to one source. 

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But doggy style does have a rep as a position that doesn't offer much intimacy, which is something many women don’t find as rewarding, says Morse. (Not to mention, it can hurt if your partner goes too fast or too deep.) What’s more, “there’s no clitoral stimulation, and women need more of that in every sex act,” she adds.

Luckily there are numerous ways to enhance the intimacy and score that clitoral stroking—for your pleasure and his. Here are 5 of the best, most pleasurable doggy-style upgrades.

The sandwich

Lie on the bed flat on your stomach with your legs closed. Have your partner lie on top of you with his legs outside of yours as he enters you from behind. “This position is less about thrusting and more about connecting with your partner,” says Morse. Having your legs closer together offers tighter friction, which will make it more enjoyable for you. His hands are also free to drape over yours or hold your hands, and his face will be close to the back of your neck, perfect for arousing pillow talk or sexy neck kisses.

The from-behind back rub

Doggy style can be so arousing for guys, it’s easy for him to get overly excited and go too fast, which can knock the satisfaction factor down a notch for you or not give you the opportunity to build up to orgasm. To dial things back, take off your clothes, lie face-down on the bed, and have him give you a slow, steady back massage, using his fingers to caress your shoulders, small of the back, even your buttocks. This gives you two time to connect emotionally and for you to build your desire.

“Slowing it down is actually a really good rule during all of sex,” says Morse. He might not last long once intercourse begins, but at least you'll have that intimate connection beforehand.

The spoon

You and your partner should lie down and turn somewhat on your sides—but not so much so that you're in the side-by-side sex position. You play the little spoon, while he’s the big one. After he enters you, he can hold you close in his arms and kiss your neck, triggering goosebumps and shivers of desire. Plus, he’ll easily be able to play with your breasts and rub your clitoris, making it more likely you’ll orgasm.

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Rear view

Doggy style traditionally leaves out eye contact. But this upgrade helps you get it: When you're in the typical doggy style pose, turn your neck so you connect visually and look into his eyes as he thrusts. “Sometimes we’re so afraid of eye contact because looking at each other makes us vulnerable,” says Morse. But when you two look at each other, your breathing is more likely to sync up too—and perhaps your orgasms as well. “It’s the ultimate sense of connection that can take sex to the next level,” she says.

The helping hand

This doggy style tweak is all about making sure you’re taken care of, too. Get into either the traditional doggy style position (where you’re on all fours) with him leaning over you, or sit up more so that your back is closer to his chest. The goal is to have your breasts and clitoris easily accessible for him to touch and stroke. Next, grab a clitoral vibrator. He can hold it in the palm of his hand and hit all your erogenous zones, including your clitoris, vulva, and pubic mound while he's thrusting in and out and bringing you both to an explosive O.