Still searching for a Valentine's Day gift for your man?
2018 just might be the year that sex toys for guys finally go mainstream—led by the growing popularity of a buzzy pleasure gadget called a prostate massager.
What's it all about? A prostate massager is a vibrator-like device designed to send good vibrations (literally) to the walnut-size organ found between the bladder and the urethra, right in front of the rectum. Though one of the prostate's main functions is to secrete fluid that nourishes sperm, it's also rich in nerve endings that when stimulated the right way can deepen sexual pleasure, sex therapist Holly Richmond, PhD, told Health in a previous interview.
Sex expert Coco Cameron, a representative of the UK–based sex toy brand Lovehoney, agrees. “So many men seem to neglect their prostate—or the P-spot—as a pleasure zone, but the prostate can be an area of intense pleasure,” she says.
How to stimulate the prostate depends on a guy's preference. Some men like a massage along their perineum, the sensitive stretch of skin between the penis and scrotum. Others enjoy a finger or vibrator in the anus. What a guy feels and where he feels it is very individual. “That said, some men say they have managed to experience orgasm from prostate massage alone,” says Cameron.
What distinguishes a prostate massager from other sex toys for men is its shape. “In order to reach the prostate, the toy needs to be curved so it points toward he belly button," says Cameron. "Anything without that curve will skip right past it."
Gay men have been in on this hotspot forever, but Richmond says she’s recently noticed an uptick in the number of straight clients dabbling in prostate play, either on their own or with their partners.
If you’ve never used one on your SO, now's the time. Start slow with a finger or two and explore the area, asking him to tell you what feels good. Then, give the prostate massager a go. Lovehoney’s Booty Buddy Vibrating Butt Plug ($27, lovehoney.com), Aneros Helix Syn Silicone Prostate Massager ($70, amazon.com), and Rechargeable Remote Control Prostate Massager ($100, lovehoney.com) are all good prostate massagers for beginners, says Cameron.
If your partner isn't comfortable having something inserted in his anus (and a lot of guys aren't, at least at first), let the prostate massager vibrate his perineum, treating him to gentle stimulation from the outside, says Cameron. “This is a great entry into prostate play for couples.”
Just remember: If you do choose to dabble in full-on insertion, be sure to prep your partner with lube first to achieve the maximum possible pleasure.