If you’ve been having trouble getting “in the mood” and the lag in your sex life is starting to affect your relationship, this video is for you. Sex therapist and Health contributing editor Gail Saltz shares her top tips to boost arousal and reconnect with your partner. From squeezing in a little more “you time” (we mean masturbation!), to communicating more with your partner, Saltz gets to the heart of what your road blocks might be and ways to overcome them. Watch the video to get on the road to a happier and more active sex life.

Don’t have time to watch? Read the full transcript:

The steps you can take for yourself to improve desire are many.

1. Masturbation: It’s probably best to start with yourself – and by yourself, I mean with masturbation. Masturbation is always a good thing to practice and you can take it to your partner.

2. Talk to your gynecologist: Take a look at what your hormonal situation might be, and talk to your gynecologist about any tests you might need and things that might be added to help you boost arousal. Look at your medications.

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3. Fantasize more: It’s really important to be able to have sexual fantasy to boost arousal.

4. Communicate more: Talk about issues, and if there are issues going on, talk about them not in the bedroom. Talk about fears and concerns about changes that need to be made.

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5. Be open to change: Be open to what your spouse might want to try. Talk to your spouse about what you might want to try that’s new. New is good.