Yes, the slap-and-tickle fest that is Fifty Shades of Grey just keeps rolling right along: Sexy themed merchandise, inspired by theÂ flick, is hitting the shelves at Target stores nationwide.
âThe Official Pleasure Collection,â as it's called, features such items asÂ a Fifty Shades Yours and Mine Vibrating Silicone Love Ring (guaranteed toÂ stretchÂ "to accommodate his girth," $15, target.com), a No Peeking Soft Twin Blindfold Set (âtake it in turns to sink into submissionâ), and "Silky Caress Silk Lubricant."
Employees have beenÂ told to place the provocative itemsÂ in the back of the "adult health section," sandwiched, one would assume, somewhere between the condoms and yeast infection creams. ButÂ a cheeky salespersonÂ at one TargetÂ decided to display the Fifty Shades goodies in aÂ far moreÂ interesting locationânext to the childrenâs toothbrushes ("Clean up on Aisle 7!"). Personally, I wouldÂ have gone with the Cadbury CrÃ¨me Eggs or cast-iron skillets, but whatever...
ThoseÂ looking forÂ something slightly more tameÂ might want to peruse the offerings online. Among them:Â a metallic silver FSOG iPhone case; OPI nail polishÂ (with names like âMy Silk Tieâ and âDark Side of the Moodâ); even a Christian Grey Bear from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company (for those who âwant to dominate Valentineâs dayâ), his paws clutching a satin eye mask and teeny pair of handcuffs.
Time editor Belinda Luscombe (letâs just call her Belinda âKilljoyâ Luscombe), who's been coveringÂ the FSOG phenomenon for the magazine, isnât convinced that this kind of sex will sell, opining, âIâm actually dubious about the connection between sales of the items that, you know, for the bedroom and the book and the movie. I think that you see a little spike as peopleâs curiosity goes up, but I donât think that itâs lasting.â
But Luscombe may be underestimating the spunk, up-for-anythingÂ spirit of the American public: Studies show that after the novelâs release, sales of sex-themed products like toys, videos, and more increased by 7.5%, according to a report from the research firm IBISWorld. That's a whole lot of soccer moms.
Somewhere, deep inside in a dungeon in New Yorkâs West Village, a dominatrix isÂ weepingâ¦