We already love Adele for her brutal honesty about the side effects of childbirth. Remember when she joked about her pregnancy “beard” (one of the many weird ways having a baby can change your hair)? Now the singer is speaking out about a more serious issue that many new moms face.
In an interview with Vanity Fair, Adele opened up about her struggle with postpartum depression, which she says she experienced in a way she never expected. “My knowledge of postpartum—or post-natal, as we call it in England—is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job,” she said. “But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life.”
As Adele points out, postpartum depression “can come in many different forms.” She eventually found relief by connecting with other moms, though even holding a conversation was a challenge because she was "so f—in’ tired," she admits.
“My friends who didn’t have kids would get annoyed with me, whereas I knew I could just sit there and chat absolute mush with my friends who had children, and we wouldn’t judge each other,” she explained. “One day I said to a friend, ‘I f—in’ hate this,’ and she just burst into tears and said, ‘I f—in’ hate this, too.’ And it was done. It lifted.”
To cope with the stress of motherhood, Adele said she scheduled much-needed time for self-care—one afternoon a week to “do whatever the f— I want without my baby.” When someone asked her if she felt bad about that, she told the truth: “I do, but not as bad as I’d feel if I didn’t do it.”
Adele went on to explain that some of her friends who felt the same way were too embarrassed to talk about it. “They thought everyone would think they were a bad mom,” she said, when really, the opposite is true: “It makes you a better mom if you give yourself time.”
If you think you may be suffering from postpartum depression, don’t be afraid to get help. Treatment (which may involve therapy, drugs, or a combination of the two) is very effective. You can talk to your doctor or a mental health professional, or check out Postpartum Support International, an organization that lists resources (including support groups and providers) in every state.