"I was sitting in the corner and I was like, 'What am I anymore if I'm not this?'"
In an emotional interview on the The Ellen Degeneres Show, MMA fighter Ronda Rousey revealed that she had suicidal thoughts after her devestating knock-out loss to Holly Holm in UFC 193.
The former bantamweight champ, who appeared on Ellen to promote her new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover, lost her UFC title last November after sustaining a brutal kick to the head that made her question everything. "I was like, in the medical room, I was sitting in the corner and I was like, What am I anymore if I'm not this?" she explained in tears. "I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself, and in that exact second, I'm like, I'm nothing. What do I do anymore?"
" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>
But seeing her boyfriend, UFC fighter Travis Browne, helped Rousey pull through: "To be honest, I looked up and I saw my man. Travis was standing there, and I looked up at him and I was just like, I need to have his babies, I need to stay alive," she said. "That was what I was thinking. That I was meant to have him while I was at my lowest, for sure. I don't know if I would have made it without him."
The heartbreaking fight has given Rousey new perspective. "I do believe all the best things come from the worst things," the MMA fighter said. "Everyone has their moment of picking themselves off the floor, and I've gone through several of mine, but no one had ever seen me go through it. I really do believe I'm still undefeated because being defeated is a choice. Everyone has losses in their life, but I choose to always be undefeated."
If you or someone you love is having suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and all calls are confidential. For more information, visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org.