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A psychiatrist weighs in.

March 17, 2016

Reality check: There is no “normal” when it comes to sexuality. What pleases you is what pleases you, period, including the frequency of sex. Although the average couple gets busy two or three times a week, this does not mean that more or less than that is abnormal. What matters is whether you’re both happy with your pattern.

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Likewise, dressing up or playing out a fantasy is healthy—assuming both of you are excited to do it. If, however, your partner wants to try light bondage and you’re freaked out, then you shouldn’t feel obligated. Say, “I am open to trying things, but this upsets me, and I’m completely uncomfortable with it.” Then think of some other new adventures that will show you’re committed to having a satisfying bedroom life.

Gail Saltz, MD, is a psychiatrist and television commentator in New York City who specializes in health, sex, and relationships.

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