We probably havenât met, but if you knew me, you would burst out laughing at the idea of me meditating.
I have a hard time sitting still in meetings that last more than 10 minutes, most of the day I work standing up (or I get my colleagues to take workout breaks with me), I exercise frequentlyÂ to, as my husband says, ârun off the crazyâ (even at photo shoots), and just generally I tend to be kind of, well, intense.
Plus, like most moms, Iâm busy. Between work, my family, managing the home front (meals, laundryâ¦), and friends, free time is limited, to say the least. Carve outÂ 10 to 20 extra minutes every day to sit still and breathe? Puh-leeze.
But then, when a work opportunity for my husband meant relocating for a few months, I started to feel like I couldnât outrun the crazy any more. I worked out as much and as hard as before, but the ever-present-yet-manageable anxiety I always feel intensified. I couldnât sleep, I had trouble focusing, I felt overwhelmed. Knowing how dangerous stress can be, something had to give.
A friend of mine, health coach Cassandra Bodzak, once told me that her entire life began to fall into place when she started meditating. That always stuck in my mind, and I had âstart meditatingâ on my long-term, who-knows-if-Iâll-ever-get-to-it to-do list. Suddenly it became clear: It was time to give meditation a try.
I had severalÂ false startsâthe first few times, I just lay on my bed and tried to clear my head while breathing deeply. That lasted about 27 seconds before my mind was wandering, then I was fidgeting, then I was making lists in my head and the lists stressed me out. I tried a few guided meditations I found on YouTube, but there was too much plinky-plinky music and too many mentions of chakras for my taste. Mind wandering, fidgeting, and mental list-making, all ensued.
But then, after about a week of trying and failing miserably, I found a guided meditation by a British team called The Honest GuysÂ that really worked for me. So much so that when it was over, I was flattened. I was so relaxed that I couldnât move for about 10 minutes. Who knew?
Iâve been doing the same meditation for about 3 weeks now. I try to do it every day, but sometimes it doesnât happen, and I find I really miss it. Meditation leaves me feeling relaxed, of course, but also better able to focus, a bit more patient. My sleep has improved. Meditating has helped me be more aware of those moments of stress during the day, and I now stop to take a deep breath when I need to.
Iâm certainly no expert; people practice meditation for years, decades. But hereâs what Iâve learned after three-plus weeks.
Meditation is for everyone
If you picture hippies and self-help gurus when you think about meditation, so did I. But if youâre like meâsuper-busy and just trying to keep your head above waterâitâs more than worth the time. You wonât miss the 15 or so âlost minutes,â and in fact, they might make you feel better and even more efficient.
Self-care is critical
We all know this, but itâs easy to forget day to day. I was so focused on being 100% on top of everything surrounding my familyâs move that I forgot to just take care of myself. Even my workouts, which usually help center me and keep me calm, became a line item on the to-do list. I forgot how essential it is to just be kind to myself for a few minutes every day. Meditation reminded me of that.
Seriously, it is a powerful thing. Even if youâre not ready to commit to a more formal meditation, you can stop what youâre doing for a second. Celebrity nutritionist Keri Glassman RD recommends taking an 8-count breath to reduce stress. Try it.
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Find out what works for you
Donât be afraid of trial and error. It took me several false starts before I landed on the guided meditation that is exactly right for me, and Iâm so glad I stuck it out. But that particular one might not work for you. You may be all about the chakras. Or you might not want to hear anyone talking. Music alone could be enough for you, or perhaps total silence is what you need. Thereâs no magic formula. Try some things out and see what makes sense for you.
You can choose to succeed
Before this, I convinced myself I couldnât meditate. Iâm not âthe type,â too fidgety, etc. But guess what? I can. I just had to make up my mind to it. It sounds like a clichÃ©, but itâs true: Believe you can do it, and then do it.
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