Talk to your parents now: An AARP study found that most people are comfortable discussing their health and finances when they feel well.
(ISTOCKPHOTO)
Few of us like talking about money or death, so it’s no surprise your parents aren't jumping at the chance to discuss these topics with you. "But without some real understanding of each other's positions, needs, and wants, you can't come to sensible decisions about these issues," says Mark Edinberg, PhD, the author of
Talking With Your Aging Parents and a psychologist in private practice who specializes in intergenerational communication. Worse, not talking about the issues now can result in misunderstandings and heartache later. Here are some strategies for talking with your aging parents.
Caregiving and Your Financial Health
How to make it work and give the best care
Read more More about money and health
Don’t wait until a moment of crisis to start having these conversations. Otherwise, "you're having them under the worst set of circumstances possible," says Elinor Ginzler, the coauthor of
Caring for Your Aging Parents and the senior vice president of livable communities at AARP, the Washington, D.C.–based membership organization for older Americans. In fact, an AARP survey found that a majority of parents are more comfortable talking about such issues when things are going well. Aim to have multiple conversations on these topics over many years.
Tip: Be indirect. "A good way to defuse the personal element is to say, 'I have a friend who...,' 'I read an article about...,' 'I'm concerned that...,'" suggests Sanford J. Mall, a certified elder law attorney with Mall Malisow & Cooney in Farmington Hills, Mich. "Even if that initial approach is put off, at least the seed is planted."
