Quitting isn't easy, so don't criticize if someone you love relapses.
(MASTERFILE)
If someone you know is trying to quit smoking, there’s a lot you can do to help. Simply being supportive and available to lend an ear is a big part of the process. Propose activities to keep the person active—and away from the
temptation to light up.
Before Jody decided to quit cold turkey on March 20, 2007, she warned her husband to prepare himself and be ready to enforce her plan. “I figured the harder it was on me, the less likely I would want to try to quit again,” she says. Jody would tell herself, "Just five more minutes" when she was trying to overcome a craving. Her husband cheered her along each day by calling or emailing her messages saying, "Five more minutes."
It’s important to remember that
quitting is tough; if your loved one slips up along the way, don’t criticize his or her efforts. When friends seem to be struggling, continue to encourage them and let them know how much you admire them for their efforts. Recognize and congratulate small milestones, and realize that your loved one may be more cranky than usual. Sometimes the best thing you can be is a sounding board, or even an emotional punching bag, for whenever a bad craving strikes. Use the tips below to help make these transitions easier.
Helping someone decide to quit
You can gently encourage someone who smokes to quit. Think of your
comments about smoking as only one event that moves that person toward
quitting.
- Start any discussion of quitting in a gentle
way.
- Let the person know why you want him or her to quit. Give the
person reasons that are as important to him or her as they are to you. (Try "I
want you to be with us for a long time" rather than "I'm tired of cleaning your
dirty ashtrays.")
- One good way to begin is to mention a new
treatment option you have heard or read about.
- Make it short (less
than 5 minutes).
- Ask whether there is a way that you can help him
or her quit.
- Repeat your attempt every 6 to 12 months.
Helping someone who is quitting
Family and friends are a valuable source of support and motivation
for a person who is trying to quit smoking. People who have already quit are an
even greater source of comfort and can offer tips for success.
If a person who smokes asks for your support while trying to quit,
you can:
- Help distract him or her. Join in the
activities he or she does to decrease the craving to smoke, such as lunchtime
walks or hobbies.
- Ignore grouchy moods. Try your best to tolerate
any bad moods. They won't last forever.
- Provide a reward when he
or she meets a goal or milestone without using tobacco.
- Ask the
person what he or she needs from you.
- If you smoke, don't smoke
around the person who is trying to quit. Don't offer a cigarette, even as a
joke. Don't leave your cigarettes where they will tempt the person to take
one.
- If you have quit smoking, talk often to the person about
positive changes in your health and sense of well-being. Talk about the times
when you found it most difficult not to smoke and what you did to get through
those situations.
Helping someone who relapses
Most people try to quit smoking many times before they are
successful. Don't give up your efforts. If the person you care about fails to
quit, you can:
- Praise him or her for trying to quit, and for whatever length
of time (days, weeks, or months) of not smoking.
- Encourage him or
her to try again. Don't say "If you try again." Say "When you try again."
Studies show that most people who don't succeed in quitting will try again in
the near future.
- Encourage him or her to learn from the attempt.
Things a person learns from a failed attempt to quit may help him or her be
successful in a future attempt.
- Suggest that he or she consider
more intensive treatment when ready to try again.
Last Updated: July 24, 2007