I had long affairs. I wanted sex, but I also wanted somebody’s soul, in this really ego-driven way. My life was a constant juggling act of at least two men, making sure they didn’t find out about each other. I was unfaithful to every boyfriend I ever had.
I thought that getting married would cure me. I hoped that I would never look at anyone else but my husband again. I remember praying the week of my wedding, “God, please let me be faithful.” Two weeks later, I started looking around. I got married in January 2000 and by April I was in a full-blown affair.
Overall, while I was married, I had two 2-year affairs with only a four-month break in between the affairs.
I felt like I got love from my husband, but as the intimacy level went up, my sex interest went down. My husband was really good-looking, nice, smart, funnyeverybody says he’s such a great guybut because he was so familiar I was tired of him. I’m just sort of wired wrong. Other women get turned on by a romantic date with their husbands. Me? I wanted to have sex if I had 10 minutes and there was a broom closet nearby. If we were in a fight and I wasn’t sure if he was going to stay with me, that’s when I felt really aroused. I’ve spent the last six years trying to rewire my brain when it comes to sex.