I'm Bipolar and Struggle With Addiction

About 15 months ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. When I look back at my life, the diagnosis explains a lot. I've been a manic-depressive person for as long as I can remember—even as young as age 6. I just didn’t know that it had a name.

When I was growing up, I was more likely to be manic than depressed. I had this super-high energy and the episodes could last for months. My speech was rapid and my thoughts raced.

I was a creative kid. I read everything I could get my hands on, and at 7 years old I knew I wanted to be a writer. I also thought I could be a songwriter—I loved the whole idea of a rock-star life. Who doesn't?

I was outgoing, with a ton of friends and, as I got older, usually a girlfriend—or two. Even today, my friends would describe me as the life of the party.

Only now do I realize that some of those qualities are classic symptoms of bipolar disorder.

When I was 13 or 14 years old, I met a guy named Brian* while I was doing my paper route. A 26-year-old ex-convict, Brian introduced me to alcohol. After I got drunk the first time, I wanted to do it every day. So I started getting drunk three to five times a week.

About three months later, Brian introduced me to cocaine and crack. I didn't do drugs every day, but I wanted to. It was just the beginning of my problems with substance abuse.

*Not his real name