How I Live With the Stigma of Psoriasis Every Day

How I handle it when people are rude
In Target the other day, a shorter woman was trying to reach a pack of gum. I asked her if she wanted me to reach it for her. She said, “Oh yes, thank you very much.” So with my hand that has psoriasis on it, I took the pack of gum and set it down in front of her. She looked at my hand, looked at me, and looked at the gum. She sort of smiled meekly, picked up the gum with a piece of clothing, and—I’m not kidding you—handed the piece of clothing to her friend and swapped out the gum for another pack. I was flabbergasted.

At times like that, I’m at a loss for words. It’s a hard balance, because you don’t want to start an argument. For me, how I react depends on the person and how I'm feeling that day. Sometimes I feel comfortable enough to say to someone, “I have psoriasis,” and then explain the disease. But sometimes I feel better just walking away from it. I don't recommend insulting someone back, though many times I have been tempted to say some pretty awful things.

Even though I’m an advocate for psoriasis, it still overwhelms me sometimes. I cycle from days of super self-confidence—Yeah, go me! I’m going to wear my “P” and you guys can go do what you want—to days when I feel defeated. Having to use a topical medication twice a day, in addition to other treatments, can be daunting. It takes a lot of time and effort and it can get old pretty quick, especially if your psoriasis is severe, as mine is. Then there are days where I’m itching and bleeding on the sheets. I’ve never been clear in 19 years; it can be very overwhelming and saddening.

Sometimes I just have to let it out
I’ve actually been in and out of therapy since I was diagnosed. Therapy helped me to learn that it’s OK for me to be unhappy about psoriasis sometimes. I can’t beat myself up about it. You’re allowed to have a horrible, bad day, and to want to throw things at the wall, and to be pissed off about it. It’s important to have that. If you don’t, it can cycle into depression. So go ahead and get pissed, throw things at the wall. Yell at the TV. Get it out of your system, because if you don’t, it’s just going to sit there.

It’s important to be able to talk about my problems. I can talk to my husband, I can talk to my friends—but they’re not impartial. I know they can take on any pain I feel. There can be guilt in that, which is also the beauty of knowing people who have psoriasis. They get it. Then, when you do advocate, it feels like you’re taking power back from the disease.