How to Help Children of Depressed Parents Cope

Is mom's depression more harmful?
A mother’s depression can trigger behavioral problems in her children, according to Fogarty. "Mothers' depression does tend to contribute to teens having problem behaviors, as well as social and academic difficulties. In some cases the effects tend to be stronger with adolescent daughters," she says.

One study of 244 formerly depressed adolescents found that those whose mothers had a history of major depression were more likely to experience a recurrence of depression between the ages of 19 and 24, and had more frequent and severe depressive episodes. Depressed mothers had more of an impact on the adolescents' mental health than depressed fathers, according to this 2005 study by researchers at the Oregon Research Institute in Eugene, Ore., although the sons of depressed fathers were found to be more likely to consider and attempt suicide.

The effect a depressed father can have on children has not been studied as thoroughly as the effect of the mother, says Fogarty, but she suspects that the effect would be similar for any primary caretaker. "If this was the father and he was depressed, I would suspect there would be similar results. Researchers look at maternal depression mainly because mothers are traditionally the caretaker, but that’s changing."

Depressed parents don't doom their children
Despite the bleak prognosis, depressed parents and their families should know that there is much one can do to mitigate a child’s risk for becoming depressed. "Just one adult who’s available and willing to help support the child can make a big difference in a child’s life when a parent is depressed," says Sherman. The extra emotional support can come from another relative like an aunt or uncle, or from members of school, church, or community groups. "If you’re the spouse, you’ll be busy with the depressed person most of the time, so you’ll need help with the kids," she says.

Grandparents can also buffer the negative effects of parental depression. Frequent contact between a child and his or her grandparents, especially if the relationship is warm and nurturing, lessens the likelihood the child will develop depression later in life, according to Fogarty’s research. It is important for children to have a strong adult who is consistent in his or her life. "That person could be inside family or outside family. This type of relationship may promote resilience—or in other words, the child will be less likely to experience negative outcomes," says Fogarty.

A steady caretaker can provide a structured environment, but one where a child can feel free to express emotions. "That can be as simple as maintaining a dialogue with the children, keeping the lines of communication open. It can also be showing sensitivity to the child’s needs," says Fogarty. A child also needs a caretaker who can detect their emotional state. "If a child comes home after a bad day and is visibly upset, a depressed caregiver might not be available to help them through that process,” says Fogarty.

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