I Recovered From Depression by Connecting With Others

Dealing with depression during pregnancy
Ever since I was diagnosed with depression, I dreaded the day when I would become pregnant. I wanted children, but most antidepressants carry a small risk for the fetus. I assumed I’d spend the majority of my pregnancy depressed. When I found out I was pregnant in 2002, I called my psychopharmacologist, who advised me on how to wean myself off my medication.

I had gone off antidepressants once before, when I was trying to conceive with my first husband, and it was the most horrible three months. My depression was worse than it had been beforehand. I fully expected it to continue, but I was shocked when I didn’t experience any depression during my pregnancy. It was as though I was still on my medication. As soon as I gave birth to my son, Lawrence, I began taking Wellbutrin again to avoid any bouts of postpartum depression.

Having MS while working and trying to keep up with a very active little boy is a challenge, but I refuse to just crumple up into a little ball. Some people are fragile, but I’m just too damned stubborn to waste time moaning and groaning about how fate has dealt me a bad hand. I’m not even sure if I’ve learned to cope with depression, but antidepressants are a lifesaver.

Coping by staying active
Leftover time and energy are scarce with my full-time job scheduling classrooms at UC Berkeley, being a mom, and spending hours each week organizing the forum and adding mental health news stories. But I think that every minute I spend writing about depression is worth it.

With the help of antidepressants and a weekly therapist visit, the majority of days are good ones. In college I chose the safe route, spending most of my time studying alone. Now I’m completely different—I love learning new things. Who knew I was interested in business and science? When I get that spark of interest, I decide to pursue it. Friends constantly tell me they can’t believe I do so much.

I am still dealing with depression and probably will be for the rest of my life. Sometimes it’s still a struggle to find the motivation to do household chores, like making a simple set of curtains for our kitchen. The difference is now I use my support system of doctors, family, and friends to keep me healthy.