I Got Over My Shame and Got My Weight, Diabetes, and Life Under Control

I turned to the Internet to find a support group
I knew I needed help. I learned that eating that way doesn't make you happy. I gained a lot of weight and my daily sugars were getting up near 160, and they're supposed to be below 130! So I got on the Internet and typed in "diabetes." I wasn't looking for medical information. I wanted real people—someone I could relate to and vice versa.

I ran across a diabetes support group called Divabetic and, coincidentally, they were having a convention in Philly at the train station. I had no idea what to expect, but I knew I had to go. The minute I walked into the room, everyone clapped. Not just for me, but for everyone who walked in. I was blown away. This was like a glamfest for diabetics. Free manicures, makeovers, and massages. The women were happy, tapping their feet. I was very surprised to find happy diabetics because I certainly wasn't one.

There were counseling stations where you could freely talk about your feelings and I told the counselor that I was feeling crappy, tired, lousy, and unattractive. She—and everyone I met there—was very supportive. They gave me hugs and called me a diva.

I learned about a diabetes support group that met monthly at Temple University Hospital in Philly. I went, and since my first meeting in December 2006, I've only missed three meetings. I'd finally found a supportive environment—something I didn't have at home—where I could express my embarrassment and disappointment about my weight and how I'd been caring for myself.

I was learning all these things, but I didn't change anything until I hit rock bottom about a year ago when my brother took me to the King Tut exhibit at a local museum. Someone had taken a photo of us and I was shocked by how huge I was in that picture! I weighed 245 pounds at the time and I felt bloated, depressed, and terrible. That was when I decided to put the things I had been learning into action.

At one meeting a nutritionist from the hospital talked to me about my diet. She told me that I needed to eat a protein with every meal and snack, to choose carbs smartly, to prepare foods ahead of time, and to eat a healthy meal before I went to work so I wouldn't munch on junk all night long—things I hadn't been doing.

I took her advice and started eating healthy foods—on schedule. In May 2007 my doctor put me on Byetta. Since then I've lost 40 pounds! I've been exercising, too, and my sugar, my cholesterol, everything is down. My goal is to get down to 180 pounds.

When I learned I had diabetes, I never talked to anyone about it, including my own diabetic mother who never spoke of it either. Whether you want to admit it or not, this is a lifestyle disease. When you eat the wrong foods, don't exercise, and don't take care of yourself, it only hurts you. It's hard to talk about. But since going to the group, I now talk about everything with my daughters, who are 10 and 12 years old.

I recently separated from my husband, and I feel free to serve fruit and vegetables to my daughters because no one is criticizing me for preparing healthy meals anymore. Since diabetes runs in my family, there's a 30% to 50% chance that one of my daughters may get it. I want to set a good example by eating nutritiously and exercising and especially by showing them that I'm content. I don't feel the weight or shame of having diabetes anymore. I speak about it often now and it's no big deal.