Shelley Kirkpatrick, 32, of Bellefontaine, Ohio, found that family and friends did stick by her once she helped them understand the limitations that fibromyalgia has put on her socializing.
"I can't go with a group of friends to the mall and shop all day anymore," says Kirkpatrick. "I can't spend an entire day out in the sunshine on the beach or whatever; I get fatigued."
So Kirkpatrick and her friends plan activities around her energy levels. "I may be able to go shopping for half a day instead of a whole day. So we may plan to do shopping in the morning and see a movie in the afternoon, instead of trying to cram everything into one day. We all just kind of work together to get things done."
Share Your Thoughts
Has pain strained a friendship in your life, and what did you do?
"Many people with chronic pain, myself included, look to others for validation and understanding," says Rebecca Rengo, 52, a St. Charles, Mo., resident who suffers from several pain conditions, including fibromyalgia, and is the author of Beyond Chronic Pain. "Even people who are very caring and empathetic don't really know what it's like, and so instead of wasting time and energy trying to convince other people to understand and validate what you're doing, give all the support and validation to yourself that you want from other people."
