4 Breast Cancer Survivors Who Grappled With Grief

Experts liken the early period of breast cancer recovery to grieving. "There's a piece of grief and loss in every single aspect of [this experience]," notes Robin Hershkowitz, program director for women's cancers at CancerCare, a national nonprofit support services group based in New York City. There's grief in hearing the word "cancer," in losing a body part, or gaining a scar, a "physical reminder of what you went through," she says. Not to mention sadness about the loss of time, of money, of control over your life. And for some, the loss of hair or the chance to bear children.

You and the people around you may have expected relief instead—and so the difficulty of this period (for some women, though not all) may come as a shock.

"People were saying, 'Oh, you must be so relieved you're getting well, this is so great,'" recalls Pam Tazioli, 54, of Seattle. "Mmm...not quite."

There was no euphoria either for San Franciscan Hendy Dayton, 48, who was diagnosed with stage II cancer and endured a lumpectomy, 16 weeks of chemo, and 35 days of radiation. After treatment, "I was still bald," she says. "It was like posttraumatic stress disorder. I just cried a lot, and thought, 'I can't believe what I just went through.'"