10 Things to Say (and 10 Not to Say) to Someone With Depression

People with depression have a litany of complaints about the misguided empathy they get from others. "People still have such a cloudy idea of what mental illness is," says Kathleen Brannon, of Herndon, Va. "Sometimes people will say, 'Oh, you're depressed? Yeah, I've been depressed,' and you realize just the way they say it that, nooo, it's not quite the same thing. It's not just that I'm feeling sad or blue."

Below is a list of helpful things to tell someone battling depression, followed by what not to say, courtesy of the Depression Alliance.

Say this

1. You're not alone in this.
2. You are important to me.
3. Do you want a hug?
4. You are not going mad.
5. We are not on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.
6. When all this is over, I'll still be here and so will you.
7. I can't really understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion.
8. I'm not going to leave you or abandon you.
9. I love you. (Say this only if you mean it.)
10. I'm sorry that you're in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself, so you don't need to worry that your pain might hurt me.