How a Bipolar Patient Learned to Manage Mania

Doctors couldn't agree on a diagnosis
Back then there was very little medical consensus on bipolar disorder—and there was very little patient consultation on which treatment would be preferred. The medication I was given snowed me. I couldn't function. I was sleeping during the day, wide awake at night. It was horrible. My family was extremely supportive, but it was a very confusing time. My condition was not officially called bipolar at this time because I hadn't had enough episodes for a clear diagnosis.

At the end of the six-week period, my energy levels stabilized, and I felt like myself. When I was ready for school, the college wouldn't accept me—something about me not being an ideal student. I went to a different college while my father appealed for my reentry. The following year I returned to my original college of choice, and I eventually graduated.

Stigma about mental illness was very common then, and it remains a challenge now. I think the best way to combat this stigma is to talk about it, its symptoms, the genetic component, and also how lifestyle choices can influence your susceptibility to more manias.

What triggers her manic episodes
My next manic episode happened when I was 25. I have since had seven or eight episodes, and they usually happen when I undergo a major change: my mother's death, a new job, or a longer commute to work. Although I find it hard to remember my behavior during my manic stages, I know I have a bundle of symptoms: I tend to lose my sense of humor, I find it hard to follow directions, I can be unreasonably suspicious, and I cry easily. I am happy to say that my episodes have grown less frequent as I've aged and become more aware of my personal triggers. Bipolar can be different for different people and come on differently at different times in their lives.

Today, I manage my bipolar condition by keeping a regular schedule. Routines. Without them, I'd be far less healthy. I try to exercise regularly, I don't drink alcohol anymore, and I eat "happy" foods like raw fruits and vegetables. But even with the most discipline, there's always a chance that I could slip back into a manic state. Sometimes my mental illness is in the foreground, sometimes it's in the background.