7 Ways to Support and Care for a Depressed Elder

"One of the hardest questions I get from families is, 'How can I get my elderly loved one mental health help when they don't want it?' " says Joel E. Streim, MD, professor of geriatric psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania. Many seniors are resistant to treatment because they don't want to burden their families, or equate depression with weakness or even death.

But because older adults are at risk for depression, are underserved by the mental health profession, and have the highest rates of suicide in the country, taking a proactive approach is crucial. Here are some coping strategies.

1. Learn to distinguish depression from other stressors. Depression is not normal bereavement or stress. "If your parent is not eating for more than a few days, or loses interest in activities that used to give her pleasure for more than two weeks, it could be depression," says Dr. Streim.

2. Recognize that little losses can mean a lot to the elderly. For example, if your elderly father can no longer drive, offering to squire him around or pay for a taxi service won't necessarily soften the blow. "The elderly are less likely to cope with loss as well as young people because of the added years of meaning behind it, and the fewer years with which to move on," says Kathleen Buckwalter, PhD, RN, professor of
gerontological nursing at the University of Iowa. Caregivers can help by recognizing its significance: "Ask your elderly parent what they feel about the loss. It's really important to hear them out and honor their emotions. Listening offers direct comfort and support."