So we’ve established that I’m fat, and that I’m ready to do something about it. But what brought this on, anyway? I’m not about to get married, I haven’t received a high-school reunion invitation, and it’s not even bikini season. Maybe my jeans are a little tight, but my Juicy Couture is awfully forgiving, and I have sets in almost every color. What set the wheels of the diet train in motion? It was an otherwise uneventful doctor visit.

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting any news when the nice nurse in the teddy-bear scrubs asked me to step on the scale. But as she moved the little bar higher and higher and higher, the walls started closing in, and I truly thought I might faint.

One-hundred and eighty-seven!

Nearly fifteen pounds higher than any previous weight I’d ever attained, even at my fattest! I couldn’t believe it when the nurse continued prattling on as though we had not just discovered I weighed twice as much as Nicole Richie plus half of Kate Bosworth. My life was over – I was two-and-a-half starlets.

Of course, I did the first thing anyone would do in that situation—got out of the appointment as quickly as possible and called my mother in tears.

Trust me, if you want some perspective on your weight, call your mom. If I was upset, she was horrified. And frankly, it was just what I needed.

If you have five or 10 or even 20 pounds to lose, there’s really no harm in going it alone. When it’s 50+, it’s time to call in the big guns. Mom promised to join me in my weight-loss efforts, whatever they may be. Now I just needed to pick a diet and exercise plan. Fortunately, there were only several hundred thousand to consider…

Current weight: 187

 
By Jen Barnett