7 Ways to Stay Resilient

We’ll show you how to keep setbacks from kicking your butt. Try these tricks and you’ll come out even stronger.


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Colette DeBarros

Every so often, life takes a swing at you, connects, and knocks you flat: Your company hires you a new boss, a guy so young you could be his mom. Instead of finding yourself on a plane to Spain for a long-planned holiday, you're spending your vacation money paying the bills for an unexpected illness.

When these things happen—and happen they do—it's hard to imagine ever coming out the other side.

But you can bounce back. (Yes, even if you're still reeling from, say, discovering that your husband who claimed to be "hiking the Appalachian Trail" was off canoodling with a gorgeous Argentinian woman.)

You don't need to pen a best-selling tell-all and commune with Oprah to get it out of your system, à la Jenny Sanford, nor do you have to be able to envision a future filled with sunshine and lollipops like the impossibly perky few who seem to be born with the resilience gene. But you can get to a place where you're enjoying a few good laughs and happier moments—in short order, for that matter.

It's true that some people are born with easygoing temperaments that make it easier to bounce back from life-shaking events, but even those who are thrown by upheavals can learn how to ratchet up their resilience skills, says Karen Reivich, PhD, a psychologist and co-director of the Penn Resiliency Project at the University of Pennsylvania. "There are many aspects of resilience that can be taught," she says.

The next time youre watching your luck circle the drain, try these seven steps to get through it and move on to a new chapter of your life.


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Marisa Cohen
Last Updated: April 19, 2010

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