Valerie: The “aha!” moment happened when I saw myself on the last film that I did about three years ago [a movie called Claire for Hallmark]. I had spent a lot of time avoiding mirrors. But when I was at home and I saw the rough cut on screen, I went, “Oh my goodness, who is that ugly, old, fat woman?” I couldnt watch the whole movie, because I just couldnt get past how I looked.
Valerie: Volumizing things. Im going to make the [Jenny Craig] Tuscan Soup today, because theres a bunch of stuff ahead of me and Ive been feeling emotional and Im afraid Im going to start using food as a crutch again. So Im making this soup. Its only 63 calories and satiates you.
Valerie: When I do go out and eat in public, its very funny. I was just on a flight home from Cape Cod and the flight attendant was giving us the [menu options] and she goes, “I want to hear what youre going to order.” And I was like, “Oh my god, seriously?” Even if they dont say it, I can kind of feel the eyes on me. Every time Im at the supermarket, you can see people looking in my cart. Im like, its cool, but hey, I have kidstheres other stuff in here. Sometimes it keeps me in line, and other times, Im like, “Hey, Im on a splurge day, leave me alone!”
Valerie: That is the key. Because every single one of us is brilliant at losing weight. In fact, Ive been a master at it for 30 years. Its the maintenance part I havent quite mastered, and thats what Im trying to get my PhD in now! Its just about staying vigilant. Which sometimes I think, Why do I have to be vigilant every day of my life? I just want to relax! Well, you know what? We can take days to relax and we can have our splurge days, but if we want to treat our bodies well, we have to stay vigilant. It sucks [laughs]. But Id rather be vigilant now than go through what Ive been going through my entire life.
Valerie: I avoided getting dressed and going out for a night on the town, because I knew that if I walked in my closet, I would be miserable. So I didnt want to put myself through that. And I avoided foods all the time, but I still got fatbecause I would avoid them so much and then gorge.
Valerie: I was devastated for her, but incredibly proud of her. Shes taken a subject that most people will not talk about, and shes given it a face and a heart. I have trouble getting over anger at her father, but its not my job to do that. My job is just to support her and be her friend, and I do that willingly and gladly.
Valerie: You can tell when someone is as self-destructive as Mac was that something much deeper is happening. This is why I believe her. Shes not a liar. Why is it so often that the victim is put through this again? Granted John [Phillips] is not here to defend himself, but its really indefensible. Like, this whole thing with Roman Polanski. Its like, Are you crazy?! He pled guilty! How can you be supporting him? I dont care how brilliant somebody is, its not OK!
Valerie: Sure, I did feel guilty because I was doing drugs with her! Not to the extent she was, but it doesnt matter.
Q: You were married to Eddie Van Halen for more than 20 years. How did you decide after all that time that it was better to be apart?Elizabeth Spencer, Los Angeles
Valerie: It just got to a point that as our son was getting older, this was going to be his version of how two married people in love treated one another, and I didnt want him to think that this was it. Our marriage was very broken.
Valerie: Because hes a really good guy, and hes a really special man. I dont love him like a wife could love someone. I love him like a brother. Ill always love him. Hes the father of my child, [who is] the light of my life.
Valerie: You have to love your child more than you hate your ex. If you speak unkindly about the other, youre not hurting your ex, youre hurting your child! Why would you want to do that?
Valerie: Every day. Every day. Im here for him, but I have a feeling his albatross will be the same as mine was. He uses food as comfort, too, but I think hell get through it. But you know, which would I take: drugs, alcohol, food? Id pick food. He can work out more and find better choices.
Valerie: Boy, did that turn around quickly, huh? People hated her, and now hes the bad guy. But Ive got to say, Ive never seen a man go through such a midlife crisis so early. Ill say it again: You have to love your kids more than you hate your ex. He said on national TV that he despises her. Well, you think the kids arent going to see that? That hurts them, it doesnt hurt Kate. I feel bad, because I dont know these people. But look out for the kids.
Valerie: Feeling good, without a doubt. When I feel good, I look better, because it shows from within.