Q: My husband seems to be a little quicker in the sack lately. Whats up … and how can I get him to last longer?
A: There are a number of factors that could be at play. First, are you having sex less often? If so, he may just be so excited that he cant hold out. The more often you get busy, the greater his tolerance for stimulation, helping him to hang in there longer.
Its also possible that hes fast-forwarding to the good part without realizing how much it shortchanges you. Let him know that you love making love with him, and you would like to spend even more time on it.
When youre having sex, notice his body language. Pay attention to whether hes breathing heavier or moving more quickly. If you sense that hes getting too turned on, try to slow down the process by switching positions.
Any position where hes on the bottom allows him to relax a little, which may help him last longer. (There are plenty of men who are so aroused by seeing their woman on top that the opposite happens, though, so you may need to try other positions or even stop for a minute.)
And, remember, even if he reaches orgasm first, you can make sure your needs are met through oral stimulation, touching, or going another round. Just make sure to keep the lines of communication openthats the secret ingredient in mutually satisfying sex.
Q: What positions are best for getting the big O?
A: Good question! Although every woman is unique, the woman-on-top position is a good place to start. For most of us, clitoral stimulation is key to an orgasm, and this position lets you rub your clitoris against your partners pelvic bone for dual stimulation. Also, youre in control of the speed and intensity of the rhythm, so you can slow down or rev up the tempo the way that feels best for you.
Sex from behind, or doggie-style, is another great option because it stimulates the G-spot in the vagina while also allowing you or your partner to rub your clitoris by hand. It also makes it easy to massage other erogenous zones like the nipples, which increase your chance of reaching the big O.
But where youre situated is only one piece of the puzzle. In order to have an amazing orgasm, you also need to feel relaxed and free to try the moves that work for you in bed. If youre not sure what they are, start by touching yourself to see what gets you going.
Women who masturbate tend to have more frequent and intense orgasms than women who dont. Once you know what works, dont be shy about telling your partner, and have fun experimenting with the positions that send you over the edge.