When I look in the mirror, I see my motherthe cheekbones (good), the nascent lip wrinkles (not so good). But we have more than just facial structure in common. In fact, my PMS symptoms resemble the ones she experienced in her 30s, and my first pregnancy (I’m expecting my own daughter) is almost a carbon copy of what my mom went through when she had me 35 years ago. So, I have to wonder: As I age, can I expect to inherit her hot flashes, too?
Experts say it’s wise to know both your parents’ health histories, but ask your mom the right questions and you may be able to avoid a struggle to get pregnant or bothersome menopause symptoms later on. “Knowing your mother’s gynecological history can really arm you with what you need to know to take proactive steps in the future,” says Tracy Gaudet, MD, executive director of Duke Integrative Medicine at Duke University and author of Consciously Female. Here, questions to help you start talking.
When did you enter perimenopause and/or menopause?
Margaret Moxley, 46, of Nashville, Tennessee, expects to enter menopause any minute now. After all, she and her mom started their periods at the same age, and they both had their kids on a similar schedulethree, all between 30 and 36. Since her mother entered full menopause at 46, the odds of Moxley doing so around that time are good, says JoAnn Pinkerton, MD, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Virginia and president-elect for the North American Menopause Society.
How knowing helps: If your mom suffered killer menopausal symptoms, don’t panic about following her into hot flash hell. Her struggle may suggest an increased risk for you, but “it in no way sentences you to her experience,” Dr. Gaudet points out. To lessen your risk, make lifestyle changes in your 30s and 40s to keep your nervous system in balance: Gradually cut back on caffeine, build regular exercise and stress-reduction techniques into your routine, and add more Hormone therapy is another option to discuss with your doctor. Recent studies suggest that low doses are effective and safe for short-term use in many women, particularly when started in early menopause.
A word of caution: If your mom hit menopause in her early 40s (the average age is 52), you might want to start a family sooner rather than later. Dr. Pinkerton says you can also look into freezing eggsa technology that’s advancing rapidlythough your insurance probably won’t cover it. Check with the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (www.asrm.org) for more info.
Did you have trouble getting pregnant?
“Fertility is like menopause,” Dr. Gaudet says. If your mom had a hard time conceiving, it doesn’t predict that you will, but your risks may be higher. Problems with egg production or endometriosis (two typical causes of female infertility) tend to run in families, says Robert Greene, MD, an infertility specialist and author of Perfect Hormone Balance for Fertility. Nearly 20% of women with premature ovarian failure have a family history of the disorder, and the risk of endometriosis doubles in women with relatives who’ve had it, he says.
How knowing helps: If your mother had trouble and you know you want kids, it’s not wise to postpone trying. Consider being tested for any fertility problems early on, Dr. Greene says, rather than waiting until you’ve tried to conceive for a while and been unsuccessful. (Check with your insurance company about coverage for such tests.)