Make Over Your Sex Life!

One study found that nearly 20% of American couples hadn’t had any sex at all in the past month. Physical intimacy, as we all know, is an important and necessary part of bonding. So, what’s going on here?

Sure, sex is all around us—in music, movies, the news, and even neighborhood drugstores (mine displays an array of inviting products right up front). Youd think wed all be having it, all the time. Were not. In fact, in a recent study nearly 20 percent of American couples reveal that they hadnt had any sex at all in the past month. A month off doesnt mean youre sex-starved (in clinical terms, that would be six months), but its certainly not a great way to keep a relationship strong. Physical intimacy, as we all know, is an important and necessary part of bonding. So, whats going on here?

To find out, I turned to Celeste and Rob, who have been married nine years, are working parents of a 4-year-old, and admit that sometimes they are just too pooped to pop. They let me take a peek into their bedroom and offer some tips on revving things up.

1. The issue: More snoozing than smooching
Like many couples, Celeste and Rob have intense, mismatched schedules, which means they dont connect much on week-nights. “During the week my husband and I scarcely see each other. I leave really early for work, before hes even up. Then Robs not home evenings until late, sometimes 9 p.m., just when Im getting ready to pack it in,” Celeste says.

The Rx: Weeknight sex
Its nice to have something to look forward to during the week, and sex is a great way to relieve stress and reconnect. To make it fun, take turns thinking of special treats for that night—food, a sexy video, massage oil, whatever inspires you.

Sex-o-meter: Yes, yes, yes!
When I checked back with Rob and Celeste, Thursday nights had become fun and sexy. Rob cut his lunch hour short so he could come home earlier. And Celeste got in the mood by indulging in a leisurely bath. He arrived with surprise treats, from sumptuous finger foods to sexy videos. Over time, Celeste started taking the lead—setting the stage, wearing something sensual, selecting a sex toy.

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Linda De Villers, PhD
Last Updated: September 01, 2012

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