Ive totally lost my way in this adventure. Chased every meal (and I use the term loosely because a slice of pizza is not a meal and I definitely know better) with a bag of candy. Ugh. My stomach feels terrible – a combination of extreme guilt and indigestion. Ive stayed away from the scale, knowing that I am in for a rude awakening. I have no excuse for my poor behavior and really need to get it back in line.
I know that underneath it all, I am very anxious about this whole adventure ending without having made a big enough dent in my goal. I dont want to have to do this alone. Marissa, our nutritionist/shrink, has suggested that I need to find myself a pit crew immediately. That sounds like a really good idea, Ive just got to figure out how to go about it (and whom I should ask).
Im also kind of frustrated because when I explained to Nichole my plan to get “back in the game” and shed another 20 pounds (a plan that included three spinning classes per week and four gym sessions), she told me I was way off base!! I couldnt believe it! Here everyone has been telling me that I need to ramp up my exercises to lose more weight, but now Im being told that I cant exercise too much if I want to keep making progress?!
Im so confused. How can I put this simply? I dislike my butt and thighs immensely right now and they just need to cooperate and slim down. How hard can that be?
Turns out its really difficult and frankly, Im not happy about that at all. Maybe thats what my problem has been these last few days. Maybe I am less anxious than I am mad. Mad that I cant have my way and step on the scale and lose 10 pounds every month until Im back where I think I “should” be. Mad that my genetic makeup and my sugar cravings dont fit into the idealized vision of my body that I carry in head. Bummer.
Now I just need to grow up, get a reality check and most importantly, get over it!