Scroll through fashion blogger Aimee Song’s Instagram page and you'd think she’s living the dream. But even a designer wardrobe and jetsetting around the globe can’t ward off bleak feelings and confidence issues. In a moving vlog this week, Song told her fans that the hardest thing about being a blogger—and putting her life "out there"—is pretending she's happy. "Sometimes I feel so sad, and so broke inside," she explained, with tears in her eyes.
The 19-minute video chronicles Song's glamorous trip to Paris for Fashion Week, where she attends shows, tries on gowns, dines at fancy restaurants. But about two and a half minutes in, Song begins opening up to the camera in ways most social media stars don't.
"I feel even more sad when I'm around people because every body's life seems so perfect," she admits. "But then again, I realize that's probably what you guys think about my life, which is why I kind of wanted to share this."
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By revealing her personal struggles, the Song of Style blogger—who has 4.6 million followers on Instagram—wanted to make the point that what you see on social media is never the whole picture. "Nothing's perfect," she points out.
Song goes on to say there was a time she struggled with suicidal thoughts. “When I was little, I was bullied so bad that I wanted to kill myself,” she tells the camera, as more tears well up in her eyes. “And I tried.”
Now she takes comfort in knowing that her lows come and go. "Right now, especially, I'm going through some tough times in life," she says. "But I know it's going to pass. I have hope."
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Fast forward a few more days into Song's Paris trip. She tells the camera she is feeling happier, more positive—and she has some hard-earned wisdom she wants to pass on: "I know as cliché as it sounds, and I know you guys have heard this before, but it does get better."
Song explains that back when she wanted to take her life, she thought things would only get worse, and harder: "I couldn't picture the future," she says. "But I think it's important to give it a chance."
To anyone who has suicidal thoughts, she has this message: “You must appreciate how special you are because there will never be anyone just like you. There’s only one you and you can’t deny the universe the gift of you, or leave the universe you-less.”
If you or someone close to you is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and all calls are confidential. For more info, head to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.