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She shares her secret to not letting jealousy get in the way of their bond.

Julie Mazziotta
June 05, 2015

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith are essentially Hollywood royalty at this point. But being such a public family means constant scrutiny, not least about the state of their 18-year marriage. The two have long battled rumors about it—They’re splitting up! Never mind, they’re just rocky! Actually, they have an open marriage!—and on Wednesday, Pinkett Smith went on Howard Stern's Sirius XM radio show and opened up about what their union's like behind the scenes.

Pinkett Smith (who's starring in the summer movie Magic Mike XXL)Â emphasized the importance that trust plays in her relationship with Smith.

"You gotta trust who you're with, and at the end of the day, I'm not here to be anybody's watcher," Pinkett Smith told Stern. "I'm not his watcher. He's a grown man. Here's what I trust: The man that Will is, is a man of integrity. He's got all the freedom in the world...as long as Will can look in the mirror and be okay, I'm good."

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One way she's able to feel safe and comfortable in letting him have that freedom is by being realistic—and being confident in their bond.

“I'm not the kind of woman who believes that a man is not going to be attracted to another woman,” Pinkett Smith said. “It's just not realistic. And just because your man is attracted to another woman doesn't mean he doesn't love you. That’s not what it means! And it doesn't mean he's gonna act on it, okay. Because if your man can't really see another woman's beauty how the hell is he gonna see yours?”

Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great ($12, amazon.com), agrees with Pinkett Smith that the way to cultivate trust in your relationship is to start with yourself.

“You have to build self-confidence and self-esteem,” Orbuch told Health. “You can’t expect your partner to fulfill your needs without knowing them first, and communicating that to them.”

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Orbuch recommends starting by making a list of five to 10 qualities you like about yourself, and focusing on cultivating your own interests and friends outside of your marriage so you have some amount of independence, the way Smith and Pinkett Smith do.

“When you don’t depend on your partner for your friends or interests, you’re less likely to become jealous,” Orbuch explained.

The end result: You can better enjoy the relationship's ride. And it sounds like Pinkett Smith is doing just that. As she said to Stern: "Thank God I have a husband who's just a gangster partner."

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